Not about the Bunnies.

You shall not bear false witness against your neighbor. Exodus 20:16

It’s very obvious that as Christians we are commanded not to lie, but we are also commanded to speak the truth, even when it is difficult or might be offensive. It is one thing to love your neighbors, not to covet, commit adultery, and not murder or steal, but those are all things that you would expect from a normal person, but to speak the truth regardless of the outcome? That requires faith.

I have written before about my struggle between trying to fit in and trying to glorify God, and have become even more acutely aware of the disservice I am doing to the people that I love the most by bending or softening the truth and reality of their need for Jesus. I want my family and friends to feel the love I feel from God and to have the comfort in knowing that life doesn't just end, yet instead I find myself shying away from questions that might lead to some of the most meaningful conversations.

A little over a year ago, I was drowning in anxiety, depression and self-centeredness, I felt like my life was spinning out of control. At the time I had made two friends in particular who were Christians, and instead of letting me wallow in self-pity, they started to me about the Truth of the Gospel of Jesus Christ. Over the next few months, I asked them a lot of difficult questions regarding issues and circumstances that I didn't feel like I understood or agreed with, and they stood anchored in their faith and continued to shine light on the truth. I began to seek the Lord because I saw their steadfast faith in trusting in God and the truth of His Word and promises, and I know that the Lord placed them in my life to lead me to him.

When I think of how I handle situations with my own friends who are not believers, I can’t say that I have always stayed rooted in truth. I have often found myself nodding silently or biting my tongue only to kick myself later for wasting such a great opportunity to shine the light of Jesus into their lives. I become increasingly aware daily how desperately I need Jesus in my life and know that the best way to love my friends is by helping them see their need for a savior too. During Easter time, I can’t help but think about all of the years I wasted thinking that the celebration was egg hunts and bunnies. I knew that Jesus had died, but had no idea what that truly meant. For the second year this year, I am able to celebrate Jesus’s resurrection and appreciate His victory for those who trust in Him over sin and death. As I rejoice in my salvation, I am reminded of how imperative it is that I declare the Truth of the Gospel to those I love as the only eternal hope they have.

Therefore, preparing your minds for action, and being sober-minded, set your hope fully on the grace that will be brought to you at the revelation of Jesus Christ. 14 As obedient children, do not be conformed to the passions of your former ignorance, 15 but as he who called you is holy, you also be holy in all your conduct, 16 since it is written, “You shall be holy, for I am holy.” 17 And if you call on him as Father who judges impartially according to each one's deeds, conduct yourselves with fear throughout the time of your exile, knowing that you were ransomed from the futile ways inherited from your forefathers, not with perishable things such as silver or gold, 19 but with the precious blood of Christ, like that of a lamb without blemish or spot. 20 He was foreknown before the foundation of the world but was made manifest in the last times for the sake of you 21 who through him are believers in God, who raised him from the dead and gave him glory, so that your faith and hope are in God.22 Having purified your souls by your obedience to the truth for a sincere brotherly love, love one another earnestly from a pure heart, 23 since you have been born again, not of perishable seed but of imperishable, through the living and abiding word of God; 24 for
“All flesh is like grass
and all its glory like the flower of grass.
The grass withers,
and the flower falls,
25 but the word of the Lord remains forever.”
And this word is the good news that was preached to you. 1 Peter 1:13-25

The Problem with Jealousy

Jealousy is a funny thing, it sneaks up on you when you least expect it. You can go from admiring a gift that someone has, to wishing you had that for yourself, to becoming irrationally bitter about your own circumstances. With Facebook and other social media platforms, it’s especially easy to get bogged down looking at how great everyone else’s life seems, forgetting that they probably don’t share everything that is going on in their world. It sets the battleground for spiritual warfare that lets the whispers of doubt sneak in through the cracks if we don’t hold on to the promises we were given.

I wrote last week about how lately, I have felt myself looking at other people’s lives and having trouble not only being genuinely happy for them, but struggling not to envy them. In doing so, I am disobeying my calling to love people and more importantly, I have realized that by doing this, I am ignoring the fact that God has given me the circumstances in my life for a reason. When I have walked through seasons of extreme stress and discomfort in the way my life looks, I have not always sought rest and comfort in the Lord, instead I have wasted my time I have looking upon those who aren’t struggling like I am and wonder what I’m doing wrong.

Last year, right after becoming a Christian, I hit one of these walls. As my other friends’ husbands were returning from Ranger School and reuniting with their wives, I had found out that Brendan’s timeline for coming home had just gotten extended again. I hated hearing them talk about being so close to seeing their husbands, and did everything in my power not to roll my eyes or make rude remarks, not even realizing that those thoughts were just as poisonous to my spirit as if I was to speak them. I was filled with a sharp bitterness, and I struggled to be happy for my friends and at a really low point, I even remember wishing that someone else’s husband would recycle so I wouldn't feel so alone. I became so focused on coveting the lives of other people that I neglected the miracle of the life that God had given me.

“When we lament about the apparent injustice of pain and suffering, how often do we forget that every good thing in this fallen world is wholly a gift of God’s mercy and grace? We think to question God when bridges fall but not to wonder at His grace that every bridge does not. Every fit of laughter, every delectable morsel of food, and every single smile is the result of his mercy and grace; he owes us none of it.” Matthew Chandler, The Explicit Gospel, p 30
When we covet the lives of other people, we are basically throwing it in God’s face that what He has already given us isn't enough, when in fact He was not obligated to give us life at all. He has created our life and has planned its ups and downs for how He sees fit to glorify himself. As I realized how jealous I was becoming, I realized how pointless it was for me to even be jealous and began to shift my focus to drawing closer to the Lord. During this time, I couldn't help but think of all of the time I had wasted feeling sorry for myself, drowning in jealousy and self-pity, yearning for things of this world which would only satisfy me briefly and which did nothing but estrange me from the God who had mercifully saved me from a life of darkness.

Lately I have spent a lot of time praying over and reading His Commandments to us, and realized just how childlike I actually am. Parents don’t give their children rules to “ruin their fun” or not let them eat marshmallows for breakfast to be mean, they are doing it so that their kids are safe and healthy. In a much larger way, God does not give us these rules to follow to put us in shackles, but to free us from the constraints of a selfish unfulfilled life and lead us down the path to salvation and grace. With that in mind, there is nothing this earth could I possibly covet that is a greater gift, and I am left with nothing to desire except eternity with God.

Love Actually

One of the hardest, yet most important things that God commands of us is to love people. This is difficult because He isn’t commanding us to love the people that we like or people that we feel like we can even tolerate. He commands us to love all people, even the people who we normally can’t stand.

Last year, when I was just beginning my walk with the Lord, I noticed that I have a tendency of dehumanizing people that I don’t like. I found myself just being annoyed in general with people if they rubbed me the wrong way. I had no compassion nor was a genuinely happy for anyone else’s joys. I was stuck between indifference and jealousy.

You have heard that it was said, ‘You shall love your neighbor and hate your enemy.’ But I say to you, Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you, so that you may be sons of your Father who is in heaven. For he makes his sun rise on the evil and on the good, and sends rain on the just and on the unjust. For if you love those who love you, what reward do you have? Do not even the tax collectors do the same? And if you greet only your brothers, what more are you doing than others? Do not even the Gentiles do the same? You therefore must be perfect, as your heavenly Father is perfect. Matthew 5:43-48 ESV

In the weeks leading up to Easter last year, I decided to read the gospel of Matthew to gain a better appreciation for how Jesus lived and died. As I read The Sermon on the Mount, I was struck by how my actions were going against the commandment of the God I so deeply yearned to follow. I began to pray for God to open my heart and show me how to love people as He loves them. As I prayed, He opened my eyes and made me aware of the struggles that these people that I was writing off as rude, or “just not my type of person” were going through and I began praying for these people. As I continued to pray for them, I felt myself growing fond of them.

It was a phenomenon for me as I felt myself genuinely caring for those who I had never cared for before and realized that God commands this of us to transform us to become more like him. Charles Spurgeon wrote this in his book Morning and Evening about the subject:

“He who dares the most, shall win the most; and if rough be thy path of love, tread it boldly, still loving thy neighbors through thick and thin. Heap coals of fire on their heads, and if they be hard to please, seek not to please them, but to please thy Master; and remember if they spurn thy love, thy Master hath not spurned it, and thy deed is as acceptable to him as if it had been acceptable to them. Love thy neighbor, for in so doing thou art following the footsteps of Christ.”

Loving those who we find it hard to even like, might seem like a struggle; but when I think of my worst moments and deepest secrets and realize that Christ would have still sat at the same table as me for dinner despite my failings, I realize just how deep God’s love is for us and feel compelled to try to show the love that He has for me by loving others.

The Slippery Slope

Fear the LORD your God, serve him only and take your oaths in his name. Do not follow other gods, the gods of the peoples around you. Deuteronomy 6:13–14

Often, when I think of idolatry I think of the worldly things that can get in the way of following Christ, but lately I have found that the idols I have struggled with the most are myself, and my relationships. Throughout the past few months I have felt disconnected, and had wondered why. I felt like I was doing the right things by seeking community with other Christians, joining small groups, and bearing witness to friends and family, yet still I felt disconnected, somewhat out of control and without purpose. 

This past weekend, while Brendan was in the field, I decided to go to Columbus, GA and visit my friends from my previous church, and over the course of the weekend I became aware of just how little I was serving God. When I had moved to Fayetteville from Columbus, I had felt a hole in my heart from the community of believers that I had left, and while I got involved with a church here, I constantly felt a twinge of longing to move back to Columbus. 

As I spent time with my friends, I spoke to them about my church in Fayetteville and all the blessings it has given us so far and found myself reflecting on all the miracles God has brought into our life since our move and was amazed at how quickly they had been forgotten. I realized that when I got to Fayetteville, I became self-reliant again and I basically looked to God and said, “Thanks for saving me, but I can handle it from here. I’ll find a church, find community and I’ll be ok.” My quiet time with God plummeted, and though I was talking about Him, I wasn’t really spending a lot of time talking to Him. As one of the ladies reminded me that God had placed us in Fayetteville for a reason and that we are to be lights in the world, I wondered how great of a light I had been lately. The answer was: not a very good one.

I thought about how little I just sit and read the Bible and rest in the Lord, and how often I have conversations about things I need prayer for, yet pray for those things so little. I suddenly realized how slippery the slope of idolatry was. It’s easy to recognize idolatry when you place work over God, or when you prefer to read a tabloid instead of the Bible. It gets a little less obvious when it’s as simple as basing your relationship with God on the church you attend or the relationships you have with other Christians. 

I’m not saying that going to a church and having a community of believers isn’t important. What I am saying is that it’s not important so that you feel connected and special, it’s because having Christians encouraging, loving and supporting each other makes the glory of God shine. God showed me that relationships, even with other Christians are empty unless God is at the center of them, and how impossible it is to have a God glorifying relationship with anyone unless we spend time alone with Him resting in his grace and truth.

Therefore, brothers, since we have confidence to enter the holy places by the blood of Jesus, by the new and living way that he opened for us through the curtain, that is, through his flesh, and since we have a great priest over the house of God, let us draw near with a true heart in full assurance of faith, with our hearts sprinkled clean from an evil conscience and our bodies washed with pure water. Let us hold fast the confession of our hope without wavering, for he who promised is faithful. And let us consider how to stir up one another to love and good works, not neglecting to meet together, as is the habit of some, but encouraging one another, and all the more as you see the Day drawing near. Hebrews 10:19-25