Obedience and Love

Sometimes I find myself frustrated because I don’t feel like I know what God requires from me. I know that God expects obedience, but I have learned that obedience to God is not necessarily following a set of rules, but more of conforming ourselves to become more in His image, and of all of the things God commands of us, the greatest of all those things is love. I have written before about the change that occurred in my heart when I stopped doing things so that God would love me and started doing them because I love God, and I really feel that it is the root of having a relationship with Him, and it has changed every aspect of my life, including how I treat other people.
 
As I was reflecting on these changes in my life, my mind drifted to First letter of John.  Throughout his letter, John stresses how deeply the connection between obedience and love really is.

See what kind of love the Father has given to us, that we should be called children of God; and so we are. The reason why the world does not know us is that it did not know him. Beloved, we are God's children now, and what we will be has not yet appeared; but we know that when he appears we shall be like him, because we shall see him as he is. And everyone who thus hopes in Him purifies himself as he is pure. 1 John 3:1-3

In my life, I know that I have taken the grace of God for granted; I have claimed to love and know God at times without acknowledging God's claim upon us. He has set us apart and adopted us as His children. How can I not drop to my knees to serve the One who brought me out of death into life? How can I expect to be “in Christ” without striving to serve Him, which in turn shapes me to become more like Him?

This has caused me to look deeply into myself and how I treat the people around me. It has caused me to care about the emotional well-being of people I hardly know, to spend time with people I never would have bothered spending time with before, and to seek to reconcile hard feelings against people who I have had a hard time forgiving. God’s love of me has renewed my love of people by allowing me to see the love he has for me. If the Creator of the Universe can love me with all of my imperfections so limitlessly, I must continue to exhibit the same love to others, yet always keeping the truth of the Gospel at the forefront.

As our Church works through the book of Hebrews, we can see how apparent it is that Jesus is our perfect example of obedience and love. At the small group we belong to, we have been praying for our loved ones who have not yet come to know Christ, and how important it is to keep the Truth of the Bible at the forefront of our conversations with loved ones especially when faced with difficult questions. Sometimes, we love our friends and family so much, and want them to know Jesus so badly, that when difficult questions regarding what we believe are asked, we try to soften the answer we know to be true because we know that they won’t like the answer… but Jesus never did that. He spoke the truth remaining faithful to His Father, and remaining faithful and keeping His promises to us. He has reminded me that His way is always right, although it might not be the easiest, and might cause suffering for a little while, it is the way into His light, and out of the darkness of this world.

Therefore, holy brothers, you who share in a heavenly calling, consider Jesus, the apostle and high priest of our confession, who was faithful to him who appointed him, just as Moses also was faithful in all God's house. For Jesus has been counted worthy of more glory than Moses—as much more glory as the builder of a house has more honor than the house itself. (For every house is built by someone, but the builder of all things is God.) Now Moses was faithful in all God's house as a servant, to testify to the things that were to be spoken later, but Christ is faithful over God's house as a son. And we are his house if indeed we hold fast our confidence and our boasting in our hope. Hebrews 3:1-6

Self-Preservation vs. Glorification

I have something to confess… I am awesome at self-preservation. I am really great at making conversation and relating to people, mostly because I want to fit in and be well liked. Lately, I have noticed myself saying certain things or acting certain ways that don’t line up with who I am in Christ. I find myself being surprised by how quickly I can become someone so ignorant of the grace God has given me, just to save face. On my good days, I see myself doing it and stop or try to turn my attention to God. On my bad days, which happen more often, I convince myself that I’m just being social and in reality I’m actually giving people a positive experience with a Christian because I’m not being judgmental and condescending.  I tell myself I’m glorifying God by nodding my head and remaining silent, when in fact I am turning my back on what I know to be true.

I have realized that we do a disservice to our friends who are not believers by making them believe that if they come to Christ, all their problems will disappear and life will be easy. Bottom line: that is not biblical and it’s certainly not true.  Throughout the Bible, especially the Book of Acts, it’s apparent following Jesus is not about what it gets you, the apostles get arrested, beaten, and killed and still they rejoiced knowing Jesus was enough.

In my life, the times when I am giving the most glory to God aren’t the days where I am successful at work, or the life of the party. The moments when I am glorifying Him, are when I bite my tongue instead of making a snappy comment at my husband, or when I share the love of Jesus Christ with someone because I want them to feel the joy that I do. Giving glory to God isn’t showing everyone how put together you are, its letting people know that  you are a complete mess and need to press in to the love of Christ to have the strength to get out of bed in the morning.

The message of the Gospel of Jesus Christ has never been that if you follow Him, things are going to work out and be fine. The Gospel of Jesus Christ is that no matter what, He is enough.  Glorifying God isn’t putting on a façade about how great your life is now that you have found Jesus. Glorifying God is setting our gaze on the hope of the Gospel. Glorifying God is acting out of love when we would prefer to act out of anger. Glorifying God is confessing how much we need Him. Glorifying God is resting in the truth that Jesus is coming back to set things right when you can’t rest in anything else. Glorifying God is pushing yourself to become closer to Him every day in hope that you will become more like Him.

Enter by the narrow gate. For the gate is wide and the way is easy that leads to destruction, and those who enter by it are many. For the gate is narrow and the way is hard that leads to life, and those who find it are few. Matthew 7: 13-14

The First Artist

When my husband and I have conversations about when we feel closest to God, we have very different answers. My answer usually involves being around people and diving deep into His word. Brendan’s answer is always being in nature. At times, I haven’t understood that, I have had trouble seeing nature as a way to connect with God because I am forgetful. I forget that everything on Earth was created by God.

One thing I have always loved, and admired was artwork. Personally, I am not very artistic, so I am always in awe of people who can paint. Today, Brendan sent lilies which are my favorite flowers, and for the first time, I sat down and examined the lilies the same way I would examine a piece of art. As I sat staring at them, I began to think about how many times I had admired a painting of nature, but how little I actually stand in awe of the God who created all of the earth. Often I find myself searching for God and reaching for him, forgetting that his goodness and glory is surrounding me. From the air I breathe, to the food I eat, to the beauty of the universe, it is because of the glory of God.  

Do you not know? Do you not hear?
Has it not been told you from the beginning?
Have you not understood from the foundations of the earth?
It is he who sits above the circle of the earth,
and its inhabitants are like grasshoppers;
who stretches out the heavens like a curtain,
and spreads them like a tent to dwell in;
who brings princes to nothing,
and makes the rulers of the earth as emptiness.

Scarcely are they planted, scarcely sown,
scarcely has their stem taken root in the earth,
when he blows on them, and they wither,
and the tempest carries them off like stubble.

To whom then will you compare me,
that I should be like him? says the Holy One.
Lift up your eyes on high and see:
who created these?
He who brings out their host by number,
calling them all by name,
by the greatness of his might,
and because he is strong in power
not one is missing.

Why do you say, O Jacob,
and speak, O Israel,
“My way is hidden from the Lord,
and my right is disregarded by my God”?
Have you not known? Have you not heard?
The Lord is the everlasting God,
the Creator of the ends of the earth.
He does not faint or grow weary;
his understanding is unsearchable.
He gives power to the faint,
and to him who has no might he increases strength.
Even youths shall faint and be weary,
and young men shall fall exhausted;
but they who wait for the Lord shall renew their strength;
they shall mount up with wings like eagles;
they shall run and not be weary;
they shall walk and not faint.  Isaiah 40: 21-31

With the amount of knowledge we have been given of God, our view of Him is still very limited. God encompasses all aspects of life. I often try to find God where I want Him to be found, not remembering that He is everywhere. I struggle to connect the God who became man to die the death I should have died to give me eternal life as the same God that makes it so wonderful to walk outside on a spring morning. I know He is everything, yet I forget He is everything at the same time; and every time I am reminded by His might and strength, I am encouraged and renewed in my faith of His power.

Heart Change

 As Christians, we know that all things were created for God’s glory, including us. Yet it’s another truth that we often overlook. Sometimes it seems like we almost get into the mindset that the World was just accidentally created, and we just wound up here. We forget that from the day that the World was created, it was for the glory of God. From the moment God put man on this Earth, we were created for the glory of God, and most exceptionally when Jesus Christ died on the cross for sinners who deserve nothing less than the full wrath of God, yet were given life, it was for the glory of God.

“It is my life’s thesis that outside of Jesus Christ there is existence, but there is no such thing as life” Matt Chandler.

Before I came to Christ, I spent a lot of time doing things to earn God’s love. I loved and boasted my own accomplishments and abilities because I thought that that was the only way God would love me. I believed in God, but never felt like He believed in me. I spent my time wondering why though I tried to please God, I was never satisfied. I thought that He gave joy to people and wondered why I wasn’t happy. Finally I became so run down that I just felt like giving up. I was miserable and alone. I became a Christian when I said to God, “I give up, and I can’t do this on my own.”  That is where God stepped in and gave me a new life, and I realized that He doesn’t give joy to people, He is joy. 

You make known to me the path of life; in your presence there is fullness of joy; at your right hand are pleasures forevermore. Psalm 16:11

After that revelation, I had what can only be described as a change in heart. Instead of doing things because they were the right thing to do, I began doing things for the glory of God because it was the only thing I could do.  I began to act out of love instead of obligation. He had given me a new life and in this life Christ lives in me and I in Him, and it became my disposition to love and serve him who has given us everything. Suddenly I was not doing things to earn God’s love I was doing them because I love God. I don’t pray because I am supposed to, I pray because I yearn to be in the presence of God and to have a deeper relationship with Him. I talk about the power of the Gospel to the people I love, knowing many of them will be offended and that it will possibly create distance in our friendship, but I do it because I love them and want them to know the joy that I know.

Knowing the love that God has for His people has made all the difference. It brings joy on the darkest of days, and makes the suffering of this life bearable as I gaze into the future of what is to come knowing nothing on this earth can separate me from the love of God. I can stumble and falter and utterly fail, and there will be nothing that I do that God cannot say, “I paid for that.”

No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us. For I am sure that neither death nor life, nor angels nor rulers, nor things present nor things to come, nor powers, nor height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus our Lord. Romans 8: 37-39

Lord of All

When I was a child I thought I knew who God was and the answer to “What is God?” My answer would have probably been “God loves his Children.” This is partially true. When I began my walk with the Lord, I was sure I knew God and the answer to “What is God?” My answer was, “God loves His people and is always faithful to them.” This is also partially true, but God is many other things too.

When I became a Christian, one of my mentors gave me a list of God’s attributes which helped me realize how limited my view of God actually was. Along with being loving and faithful, God is omnipotent (all powerful), Omnipresent (present everywhere), Omniscient (all knowing), righteous, unchangeable, and perfect, and that is only naming a few. When she gave me this list, she pointed out each attribute and excitedly told my why they were so important and kept on explaining the difference between religion and relationship with God. At the time, I was overwhelmed and just trying to get my head around who God really was and how he could be all of these different things at the same time.

I think that we have a tendency as Christians of choosing the attribute of God that he will bless us with, tricking ourselves into believing that we know better than He does. Often, our prayers come out as orders more than requests, and even more often than that we expect those prayers to be answered in the way that WE see fit. This is an indication that we might not know God as well as we think we do.

Last year, my husband Brendan was gone at a training school for what was supposed to be 2 months, but it kept getting extended and extended. I could only communicate with him via letters and was alone and frustrated.  At the time, I was a very new Christian and continuously told myself that God was faithful and that Brendan would come home soon, but the time kept getting pushed back and I became confused. Luckily, God had a way to show me what I was missing.

Though the fig tree does not bud
    and there are no grapes on the vines,
though the olive crop fails
    and the fields produce no food,
though there are no sheep in the pen
    and no cattle in the stalls,
 yet I will rejoice in the Lord,
    I will be joyful in God my Savior.

The Sovereign Lord is my strength;
    he makes my feet like the feet of a deer,
    he enables me to tread on the heights.

For the director of music. On my stringed instruments. Habakkuk 3: 7-19

When Brendan was gone, our church was doing a sermon series through Habakkuk. In the book of Habakkuk, the prophet is crying out to the Lord in frustration asking why evil was prevailing, and why God was doing nothing about it. Throughout the book this prophet is conversing with God who is responding to him and explaining to him what He is doing and will do to be faithful to his people. God showed me as I read through this book that Gods timeline is not our timeline, and God’s answers are not our answers but His answers are always better. He will work things out for His people in the way He knows is best.  He showed me that it is ok to come to Him in prayer and ask him to show us why He is doing what He is doing with respect and reverence. Sometimes it is not evident to us what is going on, especially if we are thrown into suffering for a period of time. The passage from Habakkuk 3 helps to remind me that no matter what our current situations are, God knows and has a way to sort it out; all we have to do is pray for Him to reveal his plans to us.

We will never completely understand God’s ways, but by praying during that time for God to speak to me and use His word to help me better understand Him, my faith in Him and knowledge of Him grew. When we seek to know and understand God and all of his attributes, we find peace and the world makes sense. When we try to separate God into different Gods then we begin to miss the point.  As I continue my walk with the Lord, I see my tendency to put myself at the center of the universe even as I know that I am not. I notice it in the way I read the Bible, looking for the passages that speak to me as if the Bible was written as “Kelly’s Book on How to Live,” when in truth the Bible is a gift from God so that we might know him; Just as Jesus came to so that we might know God. (1 John 5:20)

What is your Hope doing for you?

Throughout our life, we tend to misplace our hope often, and the trouble is, it’s hard to recognize this because frequently, we place our hope in good things.  We spend so much time making ourselves believe that we can complete ourselves that we take God out of the equation and replace Him with temporary hopes.

How many times in our lives have we rested our hopes on that next job promotion, just to get it and be happy for a little while and then sink back into the same funk we were in before we got the promotion? Or how often have we based our self-worth and hope on our marriage or relationships only to hit a bump in the road and feel crushed? Jobs and relationships are not bad things, they’re good things, but they’re not GOD things. 

  

Before I became a Christian, I spent my life searching for something that would make me happy. I have always suffered from anxiety and depression, and spent a lot of my life thinking that if I just had this one more thing, I’d be happier. I moved to New York City after college, got a great job, and had lots of friends, but I was still miserable. Then I met and fell in love with my husband Brendan, and things were temporarily better. After we moved to Georgia, the anxiety and depression came back. I often found myself crying and not able to understand why I could never just “be happy.”

While I was in Georgia, I met a friend who invited me to come to church with her and began talking to me about the living hope found through Jesus Christ. Things that didn’t make sense started to. I realized by putting my hope in temporary things, I was setting myself up for disappointment because the joy of these things faded.

He has made everything beautiful in its time. Also, he has put eternity into man's heart, yet so that he cannot find out what God has done from the beginning to the end. Ecclesiastes 3:11

I was reading through Ecclesiastes and this passage helped me to comprehend why we constantly have this sense of longing which can cause us to search for answers in places where they can’t be found. While God has given us the ability to see the beauty of the world, he has also put eternity into our hearts (a sense that life continues beyond this present existence and desire to understand all of life) while limiting our ability to actually do so.

In life, we tend to feel incomplete. People often say “there has to be more to life than this,” and there is. We are just looking in the wrong places for the wrong things to fill that void of eternity that we feel. I’ve tried to make my marriage fill it, setting myself up for failure and disappointment by expecting my husband to fill a role he was never meant to fill. While I love my husband, he cannot be the source of my hope and joy and the one thing to sustain me. That is God’s role.

The void that we all feel from time to time is God’s way of telling us, “this isn’t as good as it gets, I have what you’re longing for, place your hope in Me.” There is no perfect job, perfect relationship or amount of money that would be able to give us what God can. Putting our hope in God gives us the possibility of joy even on the worst days. It leaves us free to love, worship, hope, and anticipate eternity with Him knowing that it will be so much more wonderful than we could ever imagine. Hope in God is the only thing in life that will not fade or disappoint.