STOP THE PITY PARTY!!!!

If you see me crying... ignore it.. REALLY.

So the past few weeks, I've been back home in Connecticut for my bridal shower and to begin re-planning our wedding since Brendan would have missed our first wedding date. It's been an emotional experience mainly because I have basically been planning everything alone for the past 5 months without having Brendan to bounce ideas off of. I wasn't expecting him to be gone this long so it's been pretty difficult because Brendan is the calmer one of the two of us and I'm the crazy irrational one.

About 3 times in the past two weeks people have asked me in SUPER EXCITED voices how excited I am about this wedding. My response has basically been the same every time which is: "I would just like to have Brendan home first, it's hard to be excited about anything when he's not here." Then I start crying at which point I would appreciate a hole to crawl into until I stop because it's really embarrassing. So if this happens to you with me, don't worry about doing the awkward back pat because it's weird for me too. JUST IGNORE ME!

This brings me to my next point...

Stop feeling bad for me! I don't feel bad for me!

Yes, I am aware that the situation that Brendan and I are in is less than ideal and often it actually feels terrible and sometimes I need to take 5 or 10 minutes to wallow in self pity. Then I snap out of it and realize that despite the situation I'm in, I am extremely lucky...

The love that Brendan and I share is so much more beautiful and special than this temporary situation. I love Brendan so much that sometimes I really think my head is going to explode. We have described it before as loving each other so much that it hurts. I have a man who loves me and is capable of showing me that he loves me despite not being able to see me or even able to call. He has a woman who he knows will stand by him and love him come hell, high water or 5 more months of Ranger School!

All situations are temporary! Life is temporary, the only thing that is eternal is God, and He has a plan for us. I find myself putting so much stock in temporary happiness and placing my hope in all the wrong places that when things go wrong I forget that God does ALL things for the good of His people and the happiest moments here on earth are just glimmers of the wonderful things that are to come.