Sometimes, you just have to laugh.

So, this last trimester is just getting ridiculous for several reasons, but mostly because of my expanding tummy and pregnancy brain. Since there are tons of things that I am stressed about including childbirth (that's a big one), finishing the nursery, not breaking the baby when he comes home, and adjusting to the role of being mommy while not neglecting the role of wife, I've decided to stop getting upset (for the most part) about the little things and just start laughing my way through them and I'm hoping to give you the opportunity to laugh along with me and hopefully get a glimpse into why I'm acting slightly off if you see me.

First, there's this issue of the bowling ball size bump...

I'm constantly feeling like a turtle stuck on my back. If a couch is too soft, I can't get myself up. If I sit on the floor after working out, chances are I will ask you to help me get up. If I need to roll over in the middle of the night, chances are I will need to apologize to Brendan for grunting and groaning as I try to re-position myself.

As my stomach is expanding, I spend twice as much time trying to leave my house because I can't find clothes that fit anymore and am trying really hard to not buy things. Last Saturday, I put on a shirt that I thought would fit since it had been loose before I was pregnant. WRONG! I tried it on and looked in the mirror and saw that my boobs were spilling over the top and out the sides and it hardly covered my belly button. I.looked.ridiculous. ... and to add icing to the cake, the shirt had a big moose on it, which is what I felt like. I sat down on the floor in front of the mirror laughing so hard that tears were running down my cheeks... At first, Brendan thought the computer was making sounds, then he came upstairs to find me looking at myself thinking replaying  in my mind that part in Tommy Boy where Tommy is singing "Fat guy in a little coat..." Sometimes I get self-conscious about all of that, but for the most part now, I will just eat a second helping of ice-cream and laugh.

Second.. Earth to Kelly, This is your brain.

I really thought pregnancy brain was a myth... until I got towards my last trimester. I've always been a little less logical than my genius husband, but lately I can't even remember the simplest words or process very abstract ideas. It's pretty annoying, and I really have to think before I say things or do things. It's like my little synapses are constantly misfiring and my brain cells are having a bonfire! My clothes are usually on backwards, my keys are misplaced, and unless I put a reminder in my phone, don't expect me to keep plans because I will forget.

This is a look that Brendan has constantly been seeing lately

Here are just a few of the things I have done or said over the past few weeks that are embarrassingly stupid:

• Last week, we ran out of toner at work and were waiting for the new toner to come in. The pastor mentioned that if I really need to print something I can use the printer downstairs in the sanctuary, I responded by saying I would do that if I had a laptop instead of a desktop. He just looked at me a little funny... about 3 hours later, it dawned on me that there is a computer down there and I wouldn't need to carry my desktop downstairs.
• Yesterday morning, I called to make an appointment for yesterday afternoon at 3:15, somehow in the matter of 4 hours I convinced myself the appointment was for 3:30, so at 3:20 I got a call asking me where I was, luckily I was only 2 blocks away from said appointment.
• This morning, I was getting ready to head to work, Our door has a double deadbolt, so you need a key to unlock it from both sides. I put my keys in the deadbolt on the inside to open it, then turned the lock on the bottom inside to lock the bottom half of the door. As I heard the door click closed, I realized that I had left my keys in the inside deadbolt. Frustrated and running late, I panicked trying to figure out how I was going to get inside the house... about 20 mins later, I realized that I had put an extra house key in my purse and did not need to climb through any windows or break any glass.
• Every evening for the past two weeks, I have asked Brendan several times within a span of 20 minutes if he has fed the dogs. Apparently if he said yes at 6, the answer is still the same at 6:05
• Milk has been found in the pantry, cereal in the freezer, I look frantically for my cellphone only to realize I am talking on it, and I have lost several things that I am convinced house gnomes stole or my dogs have hid.

I'm at the point where I just have to laugh and ask for the people who are around me to have patience. I've never really taken myself too seriously and have always had a tendency of some "ditsy" behavior so I don't really feel discouraged by my forgetfulness, but I do worry that it's frustrating to other people if they don't realize that I'm not joking or playing dumb and that I really am temporarily (I hope) losing my marbles.

I'm hoping to have these dilemmas sorted out after Luke's arrival, but have decided that I will no longer judge moms who wear moo-moo's and their hair in rollers to the grocery store, or occasionally forget things... like their children (as long as they remember them quickly).

On a serious note though, if you haven't been pregnant, or even if you have been and somehow had this miraculous pregnancy where you felt great, loved being pregnant, never had symptoms, gained only 20 pounds, ran a marathon 6 months into your pregnancy, and/or were completely put together the entire time, I beg you, withhold your judgement of me or other women who had different experiences. 

Don't say that we've let ourselves go, because chances are... we haven't; I've had friends who are moms of two tell me that they ate great with one baby and terrible with another baby and gained the same amount of weight both times. Don't give back handed compliments like "at least you look pregnant, I don't even look pregnant" or "are you sure it's not twins?" or "you look uncomfortable" because even though we can laugh at our own jokes about ourselves, we don't need you to make them for us. 

I am excited to be a mom because I feel like that's what I was created for, but there are women who love being pregnant and I am not one of them. I struggle with body image issues, feelings of inadequacy, and stress over everything... and I have had a comparatively easy pregnancy! So, I ask you... if you see a woman struggling through her pregnancy, lower your eyebrows, stop thinking about how you would do things if you were her and pray for her. Be kind, compassionate, and encouraging and help her to remember that the life she is creating is completely worth whatever she is feeling at the moment!