The Best Intentions

This post is long overdue and I apologize, but I have been spending all of my free time with this guy!

Ranger School graduation was so much fun, and we were thankful to be able to share it with our families, and local friends who took time out of their busy lives to come to the ceremony. We were so thankful and overwhelmed. If you have never been to a Ranger School Graduation and find yourself in Columbus, GA on a Friday, check and see if one is going on because it's pretty interesting.

My Mother and Brendan's Parents

Members of our Community Group from Crosspointe

Our friends Dustin and Alyssa

Life has been so much brighter having Brendan back, but it has been crazy! The weekend after his graduation, we spent time with his parents who had driven in from Indiana, the next week was spent working (me) and catching up on being in the real world (Brendan).

Last weekend we took a drive up to Fayetteville, NC to check out houses since are preparing to moving there within about a month. I'm excited to move to a place that we will be staying for a long period of time, but am also nervous about leaving the life I've made here. I've especially been anxious about finding a good church to get involved with, but luckily our friends here have given us phone numbers of people that they know in our area. The pessimistic side of me is concerned that we will never find as many wonderful people as we have in Columbus, but I know that God does all things for the good of his people and already has plans for us once we move.

On our way back, we drove over to Savannah, GA where I got to spend some quality time with one of my best friends Moira. Moira and I have known each other for 6 years and her husband happens to be a Captain in the Army. Whenever I'm confused about anything military, I call her. I also call her to talk about how much we love Harry Potter and New York City. I was blessed that she was stationed at Fort Benning for the first 6 months that we were here, I'm pretty positive I would have driven myself crazy if she wasn't here. I'd never been to Savannah and was so excited to go and explore... Moira and I both read the book Midnight in the Garden of Good and Evil and it was so amazing to see all of the places the author wrote about!  I can't wait to go back, I love history and old cities so I am probably going to read every book I can get my hands on about Savannah in preparation for my next trip!

 

Enjoying a stroll on a VERY warm day

Preparations

It's now getting into crunch time as far as wedding planning goes, and it seems that my brain is constantly sending off little sparks of more things that I have to do. On top of preparing for our wedding, we are also preparing to move to our next duty station within the same week or so as the wedding. Needless to say it's time for us to get organized.

As we prepare to do all of these things, I have been feeling the need to constantly remind myself what the important things are. The wedding will happen either way, and we will move, but I find myself placing more value in preparing for these things than in preparing myself for our actual marriage.

This week we went over to our church and met with our pastor to talk about having a gospel centered marriage and what it looks like. Marriage in the way that God intended it to be is a mirror of the Gospel. As a reminder to ourselves, being that as humans we are forgetful, Brendan and I have "Ephesians 5" engraved on the inside of our wedding bands. This verse has been so helpful for us in our walk with the Lord because it spells out how God expects us to love. A few months ago, our church did a lecture series through the book of Ephesians and the sermon on this text really convicted Brendan and I and what our thoughts and expectations of marriage looked like in our own life.

 Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord.  For the husband is the head of the wife even as Christ is the head of the church, his body, and is himself its Savior.  Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit in everything to their husbands.
Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her, that he might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word, so that he might present the church to himself in splendor, without spot or wrinkle or any such thing, that she might be holy and without blemish. In the same way husbands should love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. For no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as Christ does the church, because we are members of his body. “Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh.”  This mystery is profound, and I am saying that it refers to Christ and the church.  However, let each one of you love his wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband. Ephesians 5:22-33 ESV

The center of this passage and of Biblical marriage in general is self-sacrifice. My friend Hunter describes it as dying to yourself so your partner can live. I understand that many people might not see this as romantic or something that can make someone happy, but marriage is about sanctification much more than happiness.

     And he opened his mouth and taught them, saying:
    “Blessed are the poor in spirit, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.
    “Blessed are those who mourn, for they shall be comforted.
    “Blessed are the meek, for they shall inherit the earth.
    “Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness, for they shall be satisfied.
    “Blessed are the merciful, for they shall receive mercy.
    “Blessed are the pure in heart, for they shall see God.
    “Blessed are the peacemakers, for they shall be called sons of God.
    “Blessed are those who are persecuted for righteousness' sake, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.
    “Blessed are you when others revile you and persecute you and utter all kinds of evil against you falsely on my account. Rejoice and be glad, for your reward is great in heaven, for so they persecuted the prophets who were before you. Matthew 5:2-12 ESV

When Jesus gave his Sermon on the Mount, he did not say "Blessed are those who pursue happiness above all else." He said "Blessed are those who mourn...who thirst for righteousness". So often in modern culture we see people walk away from marriage or other things in pursuit of happiness. In our own lives we put the most effort into the things that will give us the most happiness. Happiness, which is a thing that is good, has turned into an idol.. Happiness is fleeting. There will be days, even years, that are hard and may seem impossible, but if we pursue happiness instead of a relationship with God, it is idolatry.

The thought of letting go of all of my selfish wants to serve my husband scares me. I struggle with selfishness on a daily basis, I find myself valuing the things in my life based on what will make me happiest. Then I remember Christ. When faced with pain and suffering, he chose death on the cross to save the church, His bride, from her sins. He gave his life in order to save the souls of those who put their trust in Jesus Christ.

The Best Intentions

Almost everyone who has ever gotten married had the best intentions when they entered into marriage. They wanted to make their spouse the happiest person in the whole entire world! I have that intention too, but life tends to trip you up along the way. Things get hard, speed bumps begin to look like Mt. Everest. We are humans, train-wrecks, selfish and dissatisfied, and without the truth of the Gospel and the grace of God we would be hopeless.

Even the best of intentions don't always pan out. We mess up, and without the foundation of understanding why God created marriage, we're lost.