He Did More.

Brendan has passed the Florida Phase of Ranger School! He will be graduating and home on Friday!

If you would like to see his graduation, it is on Friday August 24th at Hurley Hill Training Area.. here is a map and more info

Best phone call ever!

Yesterday I waited from the moment my eyes opened in the morning until I resigned myself at 10:30pm to the possibility that Brendan wouldn't be able to call until Monday or Tuesday and decided I should try to get some sleep. As I was staring at the ceiling pretending to be tired, my phone rang from a Florida number I didn't know. The conversation went like this:

Me: Hello?
Caller: Oh hi Beeb
Me: Are you coming home yet?
Brendan: Yes

We talked for about 5 minutes about plans for graduation and how we were doing and then he had to go to let the other soldiers use the phone and I got busy letting our family and friends know that Brendan was coming home.

Facebook saved my sanity for letting the most people know

I am emotionally exhausted and overwhelmed.

Yesterday was probably the most emotionally trying day of my life so far. Before I heard from Brendan, my phone was going crazy with messages and calls of people wanting to know if I heard anything. While I appreciated their thoughts, every time my phone went off my heart skipped a beat and then dropped when I saw that it wasn't Brendan. I cried in Church, cried when I got home by myself, and by the time Brendan actually called, I was so exhausted that I couldn't even express any emotion. I mentioned in a previous post that right now I am stuck in two emotional planes: emotionally shut off or hysterically crying. Yesterday started with hysterical and ended with me being a zombie.

Today started the preparations for Brendan's homecoming... which includes: making sure the apartment is clean and the laundry room is ready to be destroyed, making the dogs look extra pretty, figuring out how to grocery shop for a malnourished man, and coordinating travel and graduation plans with family. I think I'm running on fumes right now.

I am just so excited to see Brendan that I can't shut my brain down. I feel the need to be in perpetual motion until the moment I see him or else I might explode. If I knew how to knit, I might have made about 10 blankets by now.

I was having conversation with one of my friends earlier and she could tell I was stressed and suggested that I take a break from everything I'm doing and just relax for a few hours... little did she know I had already planned out my entire day. Luckily, God had planned my day too and gave me the truth I needed to hear to still my restless heart.

After work, I went to a Bible study with some women from my church and they have been going through Romans. Today we looked at Romans 15: 1-13. Verse 13 really hit home for me and for what this season has brought to me.

May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace in believing, so that by the power of the Holy Spirit you may abound in hope. Romans 15:13 ESV

We talked about how we often associate God with hope and joy and belief, but it's very difficult for us as humans to find peace by putting our trust in the Lord. By nature I am a control freak, so when things are out of my control it's usually terrifying and stressful; But this passage does not say let God give you hope, Paul refers to Him as the God of hope. He is a God of restoration, He cuts off things in our life that will make us take simple paths, leaving us with nothing but our hope in God.

Later tonight, I had dinner with another girl from my church and in our conversation, we were talking about her boyfriend who completed Ranger School last month. She was telling me about this hat he gave her that had all of these scripture verses in it. She told me about one phrase he had written on the inside, it said "He did more".

How amazing is it that no matter what we do in our lives Jesus always did more?

...

I've sat here for 20 minutes trying to think of what to say to conclude this post and can't think of anything to say that is more important than the truth that Jesus did more. It's something that needs to be said and repeated every day, several times a day, perhaps even all day. The sinless One suffered and died for the sins of all who trust and believe in Him.

There is therefore now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus. ² For the law of the Spirit of life has set you free in Christ Jesus from the law of sin and death. ³ For God has done what the law, weakened by the flesh, could not do. By sending his own Son in the likeness of sinful flesh and for sin,^[ he condemned sin in the flesh, ⁴ in order that the righteous requirement of the law might be fulfilled in us, who walk not according to the flesh but according to the Spirit. Romans 8: 1-4

God has given me a place and rest that I can come to no matter what trials I am going through. I never have to travel far to get there because He always meets me right where I am; So as I wait for Brendan to come home I will be thankful to God for cutting off the simple paths that wouldn't have lead us into His everlasting grace.

A Place of Waiting

The rest of last week actually went by relatively fast for me.

Wednesday, I had a dinner with the women from my Bible study... by dinner I mean crepes and pimento cheese. I probably should have gone spinning for 2 hours the next day instead of only 1 hour.

Friday, I went to an event at my church, it was a CD release for a local artist named Brad Griffith, all the proceeds from his new CD support a not-for-profit organization he is part of called Clement Arts which promotes and assists families who feel called to adopt. Over the past several months, I have grown to know a family in my community group nearing the end of the adoption process of a beautiful little girl from India. The purpose of adoption has become so much clearer because of my interactions with them and other couples from Crosspointe. I just picked up a book that was recommended to me about adoption and am sure that I will probably be writing about it as soon as I finish it!

Saturday and Sunday I spent the majority of my time helping my friend Lyndsay move out of her apartment. We actually had a lot of fun, but I am officially am dreading our upcoming move!

I will wait.

By this time next week, I will know if Brendan is coming home or not. I haven't received any letters from him since he passed into Florida and it's past the time frame where he could have sent one before entering his last field problem. My game plan for the next week is to just hunker down and continue to stay busy until Sunday.

Are you home yet?

This week is going to probably seem really long to me. One my favorite parts of my day for the past 6 months has been checking the mailbox to see if there is a letter from Brendan inside. With no chance of hearing from him for the next week, I'm just going to have to work harder to stay busy.

... Re-reading the last two sentences, I was tempted to delete them because they sound pathetic, but in an attempt to stay honest, I'll leave them here.

Earlier this week, I was having a conversation with my friend Hunter, whose husband went through IBOLC with Brendan and is now a Platoon Leader in Fort Hood, and we were talking about how military spouses are constantly waiting for their husbands. She pointed out that while we never look forward to these times of separation, we have a unique insight to the anticipation we should have in waiting for the Lord.

This is overwhelming for me, and a big part of why I haven't written all week. I did everything I could to truly understand how I should be waiting for the Lord including numerous Google searches that I was convinced would give me the answer. I, in turn received many Bible passages to read through and try to figure it out myself.

Therefore, stay awake, for you do not know on what day your Lord is coming. But know this, that if the master of the house had known in what part of the night the thief was coming, he would have stayed awake and would not have let his house be broken into. Therefore, you also must be ready, for the Son of Man is coming at an hour you do not expect.

Matthew 24:42-44 ESV

I came across an article from Redeemer Presbyterian Church in New York City, it was from an excerpt of a book called Broken Bread by a Bible teacher named John Wright Follette. The title of this article was... (drum roll please)... Waiting on the Lord!

The first thing Follette talked about was silence.

"Prayer has been made and now the soul is hushed and, bowing in silence (in faith), it waits before God."

Even in our prayer life, we long to ask God to grant our desires without taking the time to praise Him and to listen what His desires are for us. Our prayers are full of this constant chatter in our minds of what we think we need. It is so easy for me to consider myself a good Christian because I pray every day, but how often do my prayers come out as orders being barked at Him?

We are great at asking God for things, but terrible at waiting for those things to occur, and even worse at accepting that not all of our prayers are part of His plan. The Lord's prayer does not say "my will be done" it says "Thy will be done." Ouch. Reality check: Kelly is not the center of the universe.

Follette then moves on to Expectation and Hope, and how the only thing we should be relying on and putting trust in is God. Not in our own strength, or the strength of other humans. Especially not on our own agenda.

I wait for the Lord, my soul waits,

and in his word I hope;

my soul waits for the Lord

more than watchmen for the morning,

more than watchmen for the morning.

Psalm 130: 5-6 ESV

This passage from Psalm 130 really convicted me. It made me ask myself if I have really been placing my hope in His Word or have I been placing my hope in my agenda? In the past months, I might have thought I was waiting on the Lord when in reality I was waiting on the Lord to do what I wanted Him to do. I have had expectations of God and hope in God... but they have been expectations and hope that He will do what I want, not what He knows I need.

The third topic of this article was watching. How often do I play the victim of my circumstances instead of trying to decipher what I am meant to learn from what happened. How often do I look at setbacks and not even wonder the reason behind it or what God is calling me to do because if it? How easily do I dismiss events in my life as coincidences or "just life" and forget that He is sovereign over all things. How often do I miss the meaning in my life that God intends me to see?

But most important, why is it so much easier for me to eagerly search for and await news from Brendan, than it is for me to await the Creator of the universe?

Finding Peace in Waiting

Blessed is the man who listens to me, watching daily at my gates, waiting beside my doors

Proverbs 8:34

I think the most difficult thing for me in waiting in the way that God requires us to, is that I often feel like I'm doing nothing. I feel like I constantly need to be in some sort of forward motion instead of reflecting on why I am where I am at this moment in time.

I have spent this week realigning my hope in God towards Him and not towards what He could do for me. I have spent my alone time trying to wait and watch and listen for the Lord the way that He asks of us. My prayers have been less about my wants and more about my need to know Him and grow closer to Him.

While I can't pretend I am any less eager to be reunited with Brendan, I have to admit that I have a new perspective and have less anxiety towards the possibility of God telling us once again, "not yet."

Great Expectations

Two Months!

OK, so here we are again! I can hardly contain myself! Two months from today I will be walking down the aisle towards this guy!!!

I am SO excited for the wedding, but even more than that I am even more thrilled that regardless of what happens Brendan will be home soon! I'm trying so hard not to get ahead of myself because I know that soon is still not yet! I just miss spending time with him and being myself. I feel like I'm missing half of me when he's gone.

As I write this, Brendan is in the swamps of Florida getting ready to begin his final field problem of Ranger School. It's 10 days which is the longest of any field problem and includes some movements through the swamps. I just pray that he is able to stay strong through these last days and continue to rely on the Lord.

When you pass through the waters, I will be with you;
and through the rivers, they shall not overwhelm you;
when you walk through fire you shall not be burned,
and the flame shall not consume you.
For I am the Lord your God.

Isaiah 43: 2-3

Great Expectations

I said something about our wedding being right around the corner at work yesterday and my boss asked me if Brendan would definitely make this date... My response was that he better or else I was going to start wearing my wedding dress to work. That got me thinking of the character Miss. Havisham from Charles Dickens' book Great Expectations who wore her wedding dress all the time until she was like 80. Hopefully I don't get left at the altar like her and wear my wedding dress until I'm 80 and then get burned in it also... ha.

Seriously though, when I was thinking about the book title... "Great Expectations", I started thinking about all of the expectations we build into marriage. Expectations of 2.5 kids and a dog named Spot, or of economic prosperity, or even just of perpetual happiness with no problems. How often do people marry other people for what they expect them to become rather than who they are at that moment?

The past six months, Brendan and I haven't been able to communicate regularly on the phone and the only sort of regular communication we have is through snail mail. Aside from letting each other know how we're doing, a lot of our letters involve talking about the future. We talk about trips we want to take, aspects of our relationship we want to improve on, and just things we want to do together. In many ways, I think this is awesome. We have both had time apart to prepare our hearts to spend the rest of our lives together. I feel like that is a great thing. There are a few areas here that are a little concerning for me, though.

First, Brendan has been under extreme physical and mental strain for 6 months, when he gets home he is going to want food and couch. As much as this list that we're making of places we want to go and things we want to do is amazing we need to be realistic and put it off until after he recovers. After talking with some of my friends who have been in similar situations, they agreed that a huge issue when their husbands came home was just making sure they allowed them enough time to recover.

Second, it's really easy after not seeing someone for a long time and only communicating via letters to remember that you are entering into a union with someone who is as imperfect as you are. Every time I read a letter from Brendan I thank God for giving me such a wonderful man, and I will continue to thank Him every day, but I also need to realize that Brendan is just that... a man. He will make mistakes and so will I, neither one of us is perfect and we have to make sure our expectations fit that because otherwise we will be in for a rude awakening. Adjusting back to life together will not be easy although it seems like it will be now. I know that I've been able to be selfish with my free time the past 6 months without having to worry about coordinating with him, and I know that the problems we were working through before Ranger School will not have automatically disappeared. I think that just knowing and realizing these things will make life so much easier once Brendan gets back home.

All these expectations we set shouldn't be our primary focus or the thing that concerns us the most. The one thing that has sustained us while we were apart was our faith in Christ, that shouldn't change once we are together again. We cannot fall into the false idea that because things are easier that we no longer need God. In John Piper's book This Momentary Marriage, he talks about adjusting our priorities in marriage and said this:

"If we make secondary things primary, they cease to be secondary and become idolatrous. They have their place. But they are not first, and they are not guaranteed. Life is precarious, and even if it is long by human standards, it is short. "What is your life? For you are a mist that appears for a little time and then vanishes" (James 4:14). "Do not boast about tomorrow, for you do not know what a day may bring" (Prov. 27:1).

So it is with marriage. It is a momentary gift. It may last a lifetime, or it may be snatched away on the honeymoon. Either way, it is short. It may have many bright days, or it may be covered with clouds. If we make secondary things primary, we will be embittered at the sorrows we must face. But if we set our face to make of marriage mainly what God designed it to be, no sorrows and no calamities can stand in our way."

I believe that all of our expectations and hopes for the future are important and I hope that we get to fulfill all of them. I realize though that our relationship with God and our relationship with each other will give us more happiness than any material thing could.

Ranger School is not the last time in our life where we will be separated for long periods of time, Brendan is in the Army for at least 8 years and it would be naive for me to think that he will not be deployed during that time. I know that we will endure through every trial that we are given.

 Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth. Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. 1 Corinthians 13:4-7 ESV

What I love about Sundays...

Well, I have been floating on my little cloud of happiness since Friday! I had so many things happen this weekend that I'm going to try really hard to be organized.

Saturday

On Saturday I look my pups to the dog park so they could play with their friends Howie and Max, then ran a few miles and did a TRX workout.

Funny story: I decided that since it wasn't that hot out yesterday, it would be cool to go to the 1-mile track on post (for non-military people, when I refer to "on post" I mean on the military base). I ran around the track a few times then took my TRX bands out of the car because I thought it would be a cool idea to hang them from the pull-up bars and do my workout outside also. The first set was awesome until I got down to do a plank on the ground... apparently this dirt wasn't just any dirt. It was like super magnetic stick to every part of your body dirt. After the first set, I stood up and had this grayish dirt all over my body. All I could think about was Pig-Pen from Charlie Brown. I was so embarrassed I had to stop working out and go home so people would stop staring at me.

This is basically what I looked like.
photo credit

That was basically the highlight of my day Saturday, after that I just went home and made dinner and watched a movie.

Sunday!!

I think it's pretty ironic that growing up, I went to church and would stare at the clock just wondering when church would be over. After having been out of town every Sunday for the past month, I had been looking forward to Sunday all week. I was so excited to go to CrossPointe and see my church family that I thought church started at 10 instead of 10:30 so I got to church at 9:40. Then I had to call a friend to ask her what time church started because the parking lot was empty and I felt like I was in the twilight zone.

I know I've said before how amazing my church family is, but I constantly just feel so blessed to be surrounded by so many people that love with a Christ-like love. It's amazing how many people say "I'll pray for you" and never mean it. Throughout the past 6 months, I have gotten e-mails and texts from so many members of my group just to let me know that I was prayed for that day. It's extremely humbling and overwhelming.

Among the people from my community group that I saw was a man named Emory who had just graduated Ranger School about 3 weeks ago. He told me a story about his first chapel service in Ranger School. The chaplain asked if anyone had any testimonials and a guy stood up and started talking about having been in Ranger School since February and how his faith in God was sustaining him and he started reading Bible passages off of note cards. It was dark so Emory couldn't tell who was speaking, but went to see who it was after the service was over. That person was Brendan. When Emory told me this, I had to try really hard not to cry. The one thing that has concerned me the most about Brendan is his spiritual health. Being unable to talk to him and not knowing for sure whether or not he is putting his trust in Jesus has been weighing on my heart and the number one thing I pray about every day. The fact that not only is Brendan relying on God, but leading and encouraging others to do the same is more than I can ever ask for.

The sermon on Sunday was on Psalm 67 and about rejoicing in God's blessings. This sermon really made me stop and think about how much I still catch myself relying on my own works. I constantly set up back up plans just in case God doesn't follow through with how I want my life to be. That isn't how I should be living my life because my life isn't about me, it's about glorifying God through my spiritual gifts, but more often my struggles. Everything exists for the glory of God. Maybe Brendan recycled Ranger School so many times so he could share the gospel with someone who needs it. We don't know and we won't know until the end, but we can have peace with what happens in our lives knowing that it's for God's purpose.

Post-Church Sunday Funday

After Church, a bunch of people from my community group and I drove up to Pine Mountain to spend some time with the local youth up there. Some of them don't have the greatest home situation and they just need somewhere to go to stay out of trouble. Every Sunday a local family opens up the gymnasium so that they have somewhere to go and they get to eat some dinner.  We spent our time with them playing basketball (the guys), doing arts and crafts (the girls), and dancing! They even had a medivac helicopter come so the kids could get a tour of the inside.

So many fun activities!!

Since yesterday, I've had one girl in particular that I met on my heart. She's going into the 7th grade and I spent most of my time showing her how to make different knots so she could make bracelets. Her favorite subject is Math and she plans on trying out for the basketball team in the fall (which is good because she's really tall). Just answering those questions seemed like a struggle for her and I feel like she probably has a lot going on in her life. I just really would like to make a commitment to pray for her on a daily basis and try to make it up to Pine Mountain as often as possible while I'm in Georgia.

Chance, who started this program gave a short lesson on Joseph, which was ironic because my devotional for that morning was also on Joseph and God-given dreams. Since God gave me this story two times in one day, I figured it was probably important so I took the time to really sit and reflect on this devotion and try to decipher if God has deposited a dream into my heart, and if so, what it is... I'm not there yet. I have ideas and thoughts floating around, but nothing solid. One thing that stuck out to me was this quote from the devotional:

If your God-given dream begins to look like a nightmare, do not abort the vision. Realize the enemy is against you. Opposition rises because you are getting closer to birthing what God desires to release through you. Take courage and keep pressing onwards as you rely on God each step of the way. (Powertochange.org)

In my life, this quote relates mostly to my life before coming to Christ. It's sometimes difficult for me to express my emotions to some of my oldest friends because they know the "Old Kelly". Often, I find myself searching for courage to stand up for my love for Jesus. I've had several discussions with my Women's Bible study where we talk about how it's one thing to believe in Jesus and truly believe the Word of God, but it's another thing to have the courage to live your life the way God wants you to and to speak the Truth at all times regardless of what the outside world might say. I struggle with this particularly and end up losing my own battle a lot.

I think part of the reason I started this blog is because it's easier to speak the Truth from behind a computer screen. After typing that it seems pretty wimpy. Maybe my God-given dream is to speak the Truth to the people I love the most and need to hear it the most.

Something one of our Pastors says often in our closing prayers at Church on Sundays is that Church is the easy part. As Christians it's the resting place, the easiest part of the week where we come and praise God with other people like us. Being a Christian isn't about coming to Church every Sunday, its about what you do when you walk out that door back into the real world. That's what truly glorifies God.

I love the message of this song

Three Minutes of Pure Joy

I wish that my phone could automatically save phone conversations so that I could replay the phone call I received today at 5:45 PM. A phone number popped up on my screen from Dahlonega, GA and my heart immediately started racing as I answered it. Here is the conversation that followed:

Me: Hello?
Caller: Beeb?
Me: PLEASE TELL ME YOU PASSED
Brendan: I PASSED

THE TWO SWEETEST WORDS I HAVE HEARD.

We were only able to have a 3 minute conversation but he sounded fantastic and it was amazing to just be able to hear his voice. The most amazing thing about Brendan is that after all he has been through, all he wanted to know was about how I was doing and to make sure that I was OK. He hasn't slept more than 3 hours or eaten more than 2 meals a day in weeks and his only concern is me. I thank God every day for giving me such a wonderful, loving, selfless man to spend the rest of my life with.

This photo was taken the day Brendan left.. we don't look too thrilled.

This is the first time since we have started on this journey through Ranger School where I can say that I will possibly see Brendan in less than one month! This is huge. I am so ecstatic that I can hardly formulate my thoughts into sentences to write.

Light at the End of the Tunnel

This is a light at the end of the tunnel. Although I know that we are far from the end of the tunnel, he still has to get through swamps, but I trust the Lord and I know that He will be faithful to us no matter what.

I was listening to the radio this morning and there was an excerpt from a sermon by a woman named Beth Moore who is an author and founder of Living Proof Ministries. I had never heard of her before yesterday and honestly haven't had the time to completely explore her beliefs or really do more than Google her, but she said something that I repeated to myself over and over again until I was able to pull over and write it down. I'm not sure exactly what she said but it was basically this:

If we are easily discouraged we will never be profoundly used or deeply affected.

I truly feel that God has given us these struggles to make us stop placing our hope in failing, fading, temporary things, and to allow us to completely turn to Him. By allowing us to go through these times of trial, we have been given the opportunity to outwardly display our trust in God's complete sovereignty to others by not losing faith despite the circumstances.

Let me follow that up by saying that by no means am I trying to imply that Brendan and I are not blessed. By owning a refrigerator, we are in the top 2% of the world's wealth. We are so thankful of everything we have, but we know that we are given nothing if it is not given by the Lord, and we know that nothing we accomplish is for anything but the Glory of God.

Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ! According to his great mercy, he has caused us to be born again to a living hope through the resurrection of Jesus Christ from the dead,  to an inheritance that is imperishable, undefiled, and unfading, kept in heaven for you,  who by God's power are being guarded through faith for a salvation ready to be revealed in the last time. In this you rejoice, though now for a little while, if necessary, you have been grieved by various trials, so that the tested genuineness of your faith—more precious than gold that perishes though it is tested by fire—may be found to result in praise and glory and honor at the revelation of Jesus Christ. Though you have not seen him, you love him. Though you do not now see him, you believe in him and rejoice with joy that is inexpressible and filled with glory, obtaining the outcome of your faith, the salvation of your souls. 1 Peter 1:3-9

I thank the Lord every day for Brendan and for the love that we share between each other. Although I don't ever think I will look back on this experience as one of my top ten best times of my life, I believe that Ranger School and seperation has not been something that has broken us, it has been a catalyst to transform us and our love into a more Christ-like union. I mean, honestly, Brendan and I had only thought of God obscurly until then. The love that Brendan and I have now is so much stronger because it is blessed by the Holy Spirit and is unbreakable no matter what is to come.

Please continue to pray for us as we enter into this final phase of Ranger School, we know that nothing is certain and that all will be done according to His plan. Nonetheless we covet your prayers. Through Christ all is possible.

Back to Normal...?

Now that I'm home, I've started getting back into my "normal" routine. I put normal in quotes because I don't even know what normal is anymore. How normal is it for me to have been alone the past 6 months? I guess in the Army world it's normal, but I still find it amusing.

this is slightly dramatic, but funny nonetheless...

 Tomorrow (Friday) I should be getting a call from Brendan letting me know whether he has passed into the swamp phase of Ranger School, needless to say I have been doing everything in my power to keep myself busy. I returned to work on Monday and got back into my workout routine which is awesome and really made me feel a lot better. More importantly, I've been spending a lot of time with my friends. I spent my first 5 months in Georgia doing everything I could to not make this place a home, but despite my efforts, Columbus, Georgia is my home right now. The people who understand me best are here.

On Tuesday I had lunch with my friend (and one of my bridesmaids) Alyssa. We actually met one of the first weeks I was down here at a marriage retreat. I love her for many reasons but I will just give you two reasons. First, she would do anything for her friends. When Brendan first left for Ranger School, I got really sick and had to go to urgent care because I couldn't stop throwing up. Her and our other friend Moira (another bridesmaid) dropped everything they were doing to meet me at the doctor's office so I wouldn't have to be alone. Then on top of that, they came to my apartment and walked my dogs, picked up my prescriptions and cleaned my living room for me. They could have just told me to call if I needed something but they insisted on coming to the doctors and then to my apartment with me. I hadn't seen or spoken to Brendan in almost 3 weeks at this point, so I felt completely alone with my family being so far away. They reminded me that although my family is in Connecticut, I have a different type of family here.

The second reason I love her is because she cuts through all the fluffy top layers and gives me a reality check when I need one. Tuesday the topic of conversation was the upcoming wedding and how stressful planning has been. Her answer was so logical it was mind blowing. She said, "Kelly it's just a big party. When is the next time you and Brendan are going to have that many people that  you love in the same room?"

This was a really good question... with a really easy answer. On top of the fact that Brendan's family is from Indiana and Ireland and mine is from Connecticut and New York, nearly all of our friends are military. As I write this, our friends are literally spread from Alaska to Hawaii to Germany to Texas to New York to Kentucky and everywhere in between. There will probably never be another time when so many people that mean so much to us are in the same room. It's so easy to get carried away with flowers and dresses and DJs and cakes that we forget why everyone is coming together in the first place. Needless to say I am eternally in debt to her for slowing my tailspin to a slight tail-rotation. (I don't think tail-rotation is an actual thing).

Wednesday was amazing too because I got to have coffee before going to a TRX class where we got our butts kicked with my dear friend Jordan, who leaves tomorrow for Fort Carson, CO. Jordan along with our friend Hunter were really the two people in Georgia who first spoke the true Word of the Lord to me. On top of that, they never judged me for not being there yet. I will forever be indebted to them for their loving persistence in encouraging me to embrace Christ.

After my gym class, I went to a Women's Bible study that I have been attending all summer with some of the women from my community group through my church. We have been doing a study of the Old Testament prophets Hosea, Micah, Nahum, Habakkuk, and Zephaniah by Kay Arthur called Finding Hope When Life Seems Dark. For those of you who have not read these prophets... neither had I, actually every time I flipped to the Old Testament I got a headache within the first 3 minutes.

I won't get into serious depth about these books of the Bible, because honestly, I am still not knowledgeable enough to confidently explain what was said. What I will say though is that this study has been encouraging in so many ways.

I adore this passage in Habbakuk

The theme of each of these books was God warning and carrying out judgement upon his people who had strayed from Him. Originally this was terrifying. He was taking away everything from them, but as we discussed this we were reminded that nothing is given except through Him. No geographical place, no person, no possession should stand in the way of our relationship with him. Throughout these books filled with foreshadowing of punishment, death and destruction, were lanterns of hope in God's plan.

One of the other women said something that stuck with me. She said, "Our God is a God of restoration. He cuts off things that make us take simple paths." Even in our struggles we must trust in God that he does all things for our good. Sometimes we must be knocked down and left with nothing to hold onto EXCEPT our hope in God. That is a hard truth to grasp sometimes. We put our hope in so many things and forget about the ONE eternal thing which we should place our hope in. I believe that my closest times with the Lord have not necessarily been the easiest time in my life, but His faithfulness to me during these struggles have given me peace and joy which no amount of success or good fortune could ever bring.

 Therefore, since we have been justified by faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ. Through him we have also obtained access by faith into this grace in which we stand, and we rejoice in hope of the glory of God. Not only that, but we rejoice in our sufferings, knowing that suffering produces endurance, and endurance produces character, and character produces hope, and hope does not put us to shame, because God's love has been poured into our hearts through the Holy Spirit who has been given to us.

 For while we were still weak, at the right time Christ died for the ungodly. For one will scarcely die for a righteous person—though perhaps for a good person one would dare even to die—but God shows his love for us in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us. Since, therefore, we have now been justified by his blood, much more shall we be saved by him from the wrath of God. For if while we were enemies we were reconciled to God by the death of his Son, much more, now that we are reconciled, shall we be saved by his life. More than that, we also rejoice in God through our Lord Jesus Christ, through whom we have now received reconciliation. Romans 5:1-11 ESV

As I anxiously await a phone call from Brendan tomorrow, I will be hoping for news that he has passed into his final phase of Ranger School. As I type this, Brendan already knows if he has passed so tonight my prayers are that regardless of the decision, Brendan is finding peace with it and relying on his faith in God.