Back to Normal...?

Now that I'm home, I've started getting back into my "normal" routine. I put normal in quotes because I don't even know what normal is anymore. How normal is it for me to have been alone the past 6 months? I guess in the Army world it's normal, but I still find it amusing.

this is slightly dramatic, but funny nonetheless...

 Tomorrow (Friday) I should be getting a call from Brendan letting me know whether he has passed into the swamp phase of Ranger School, needless to say I have been doing everything in my power to keep myself busy. I returned to work on Monday and got back into my workout routine which is awesome and really made me feel a lot better. More importantly, I've been spending a lot of time with my friends. I spent my first 5 months in Georgia doing everything I could to not make this place a home, but despite my efforts, Columbus, Georgia is my home right now. The people who understand me best are here.

On Tuesday I had lunch with my friend (and one of my bridesmaids) Alyssa. We actually met one of the first weeks I was down here at a marriage retreat. I love her for many reasons but I will just give you two reasons. First, she would do anything for her friends. When Brendan first left for Ranger School, I got really sick and had to go to urgent care because I couldn't stop throwing up. Her and our other friend Moira (another bridesmaid) dropped everything they were doing to meet me at the doctor's office so I wouldn't have to be alone. Then on top of that, they came to my apartment and walked my dogs, picked up my prescriptions and cleaned my living room for me. They could have just told me to call if I needed something but they insisted on coming to the doctors and then to my apartment with me. I hadn't seen or spoken to Brendan in almost 3 weeks at this point, so I felt completely alone with my family being so far away. They reminded me that although my family is in Connecticut, I have a different type of family here.

The second reason I love her is because she cuts through all the fluffy top layers and gives me a reality check when I need one. Tuesday the topic of conversation was the upcoming wedding and how stressful planning has been. Her answer was so logical it was mind blowing. She said, "Kelly it's just a big party. When is the next time you and Brendan are going to have that many people that  you love in the same room?"

This was a really good question... with a really easy answer. On top of the fact that Brendan's family is from Indiana and Ireland and mine is from Connecticut and New York, nearly all of our friends are military. As I write this, our friends are literally spread from Alaska to Hawaii to Germany to Texas to New York to Kentucky and everywhere in between. There will probably never be another time when so many people that mean so much to us are in the same room. It's so easy to get carried away with flowers and dresses and DJs and cakes that we forget why everyone is coming together in the first place. Needless to say I am eternally in debt to her for slowing my tailspin to a slight tail-rotation. (I don't think tail-rotation is an actual thing).

Wednesday was amazing too because I got to have coffee before going to a TRX class where we got our butts kicked with my dear friend Jordan, who leaves tomorrow for Fort Carson, CO. Jordan along with our friend Hunter were really the two people in Georgia who first spoke the true Word of the Lord to me. On top of that, they never judged me for not being there yet. I will forever be indebted to them for their loving persistence in encouraging me to embrace Christ.

After my gym class, I went to a Women's Bible study that I have been attending all summer with some of the women from my community group through my church. We have been doing a study of the Old Testament prophets Hosea, Micah, Nahum, Habakkuk, and Zephaniah by Kay Arthur called Finding Hope When Life Seems Dark. For those of you who have not read these prophets... neither had I, actually every time I flipped to the Old Testament I got a headache within the first 3 minutes.

I won't get into serious depth about these books of the Bible, because honestly, I am still not knowledgeable enough to confidently explain what was said. What I will say though is that this study has been encouraging in so many ways.

I adore this passage in Habbakuk

The theme of each of these books was God warning and carrying out judgement upon his people who had strayed from Him. Originally this was terrifying. He was taking away everything from them, but as we discussed this we were reminded that nothing is given except through Him. No geographical place, no person, no possession should stand in the way of our relationship with him. Throughout these books filled with foreshadowing of punishment, death and destruction, were lanterns of hope in God's plan.

One of the other women said something that stuck with me. She said, "Our God is a God of restoration. He cuts off things that make us take simple paths." Even in our struggles we must trust in God that he does all things for our good. Sometimes we must be knocked down and left with nothing to hold onto EXCEPT our hope in God. That is a hard truth to grasp sometimes. We put our hope in so many things and forget about the ONE eternal thing which we should place our hope in. I believe that my closest times with the Lord have not necessarily been the easiest time in my life, but His faithfulness to me during these struggles have given me peace and joy which no amount of success or good fortune could ever bring.

 Therefore, since we have been justified by faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ. Through him we have also obtained access by faith into this grace in which we stand, and we rejoice in hope of the glory of God. Not only that, but we rejoice in our sufferings, knowing that suffering produces endurance, and endurance produces character, and character produces hope, and hope does not put us to shame, because God's love has been poured into our hearts through the Holy Spirit who has been given to us.

 For while we were still weak, at the right time Christ died for the ungodly. For one will scarcely die for a righteous person—though perhaps for a good person one would dare even to die—but God shows his love for us in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us. Since, therefore, we have now been justified by his blood, much more shall we be saved by him from the wrath of God. For if while we were enemies we were reconciled to God by the death of his Son, much more, now that we are reconciled, shall we be saved by his life. More than that, we also rejoice in God through our Lord Jesus Christ, through whom we have now received reconciliation. Romans 5:1-11 ESV

As I anxiously await a phone call from Brendan tomorrow, I will be hoping for news that he has passed into his final phase of Ranger School. As I type this, Brendan already knows if he has passed so tonight my prayers are that regardless of the decision, Brendan is finding peace with it and relying on his faith in God.