Don't Follow Your Heart

Sometimes people wonder why we should even bother trying if no one is perfect. Christians struggle with questions of why God created laws that He knew full well we would not be able to follow. The short answer is that by knowing these laws, we would be able to see ourselves for what we really are and understand our deep need for a savior.

A very popular motto to live by in today’s world is, “Follow your heart.” Unfortunately, what we often fail to realize is that our “heart” can sometimes deceive us. When we follow our hearts, what we are really doing is following our emotions and making impulsive decisions. For example when my husband and I are arguing and he says something hurtful, my emotions want me to make a comment that would make him hurt as badly as I do. There have been several times that I have fired back some snarky comment to avenge my wounded feelings, and many people wouldn't bat an eye, in fact some people might even encourage giving someone the “taste of their own medicine.” The problem is I know it’s wrong because God commands us to act in love, even if society doesn't see a problem in acting out of anger.

Cultural norms are always changing because we try finding ways to blur the lines between right and wrong so that we can convince ourselves that we aren't doing something that we believe we shouldn't do… but while we bargain with our conscience to try to rationalize our actions, God never changes. He has stayed the same since the beginning of time and He created these laws to stand in juxtaposition with society’s laws so that we would be able to see the stark contrast between the two and to expose the sin that we are trying so desperately to justify.

Those who are well have no need of a physician, but those who are sick. I have not come to call the righteous but sinners to repentance. Luke 5:31-32 

When we forget about God’s laws, we forget why Jesus came in the first place, which was to save us from the darkness in sin; but if we can’t recognize our sin, then the hope of the Gospel is obsolete. If we don’t believe that we are broken, then we have no need to be healed. God gave us the law to expose our brokenness and gave us Jesus to mend it. Following your heart can lead you down roads that you never wanted to go, but following Jesus will always lead you down the path to salvation.

Fighting the Good Fight

After spending the last several posts writing about the importance of the law of God, it is now time to acknowledge our struggles and failure to keep those laws perfectly. I have the tendency to beat myself up when I think about how often I fail to do the right thing. Sometimes I look at the way I interact with my husband and friends and I blush realizing that God sees that too. There are days and weeks where I have felt crippled underneath the weight of my sin, unable to climb out of the hole I have fallen so deeply in, becoming discouraged. While it’s good to acknowledge our shortcomings, we can’t wallow in them; we must take a stand with God against our sins and recognize our deep need of a Savior who conquered these sins for us.

In order to take a stand against the sin remaining in our lives we must be able to repeat God’s promises and victories to ourselves during our times of strife. The Letter from Paul to the Romans as a whole has made a huge impact on my life. When I began examining my life, questioning where I placed my hopes and realizing my need of a savior, my friends pointed me to Romans. As I read through Paul’s letter, the phrase, “the righteous shall live by faith,” echoed in my brain. Throughout the first chapter, I read of our tendency to suppress and ignore the truth and replace it with a love of self, as I continued reading I realized just how bleak the future was for me if I decided to continue living in the shackles of my sins. I began to realize the pointlessness in boasting in my own works because they would still fall short, and when I realized that I began to feel the weight of the problems of this world being lifted off my shoulders knowing that I have been justified in my faith, by the grace of God through Jesus’ sacrifice.

There is therefore now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus. For the law of the Spirit of life has set you free in Christ Jesus from the law of sin and death. For God has done what the law, weakened by the flesh, could not do. By sending his own Son in the likeness of sinful flesh and for sin, he condemned sin in the flesh, in order that the righteous requirement of the law might be fulfilled in us, who walk not according to the flesh but according to the Spirit. For those who live according to the flesh set their minds on the things of the flesh, but those who live according to the Spirit set their minds on the things of the Spirit. For to set the mind on the flesh is death, but to set the mind on the Spirit is life and peace. For the mind that is set on the flesh is hostile to God, for it does not submit to God's law; indeed, it cannot. Those who are in the flesh cannot please God

You, however, are not in the flesh but in the Spirit, if in fact the Spirit of God dwells in you. Anyone who does not have the Spirit of Christ does not belong to him.

But if Christ is in you, although the body is dead because of sin, the Spirit is life because of righteousness. If the Spirit of him who raised Jesus from the dead dwells in you, he who raised Christ Jesus from the dead will also give life to your mortal bodies through his Spirit who dwells in you. Romans 8: 1-11

In our hearts we know that Christ is in us, and rest our faith in our salvation, but sometimes we mess up. When we mess up, is when the devil will swoop in and try to plant seeds of doubt in our hearts. The enemy will never come out and dangle something in our heads that we absolutely know to be false, Satan speaks in half truths. He looks for our insecurities and tries to find cracks in our foundations. When we mess up, the enemy whispers in our ears questions like, “are you really any different?” or “do you think God will love you even after all this?” To be able to fight the enemy of sin, we need to be able to say, “No, Christ paid for that,” and to be able to do that, we need to know and to be able to hold on to the promises that we have been given. This is why it is so important to read the Bible and to be able to remember scripture

Too often we let our failures define us instead of finding our worth in Christ in His victory over sin and darkness. We get so caught up keeping a running tally of our highest and lowest moments forgetting that our identity is not found in our own works, but at the foot of the Cross of Jesus who washed away our shortcomings. To be able the fight the good fight, we must keep the promises of our God close to our hearts, knowing that we are created new, we are redeemed, and we are spotless in His eyes thanks to the sacrifice of Jesus Christ.

Finally, be strong in the Lord and in his mighty power. Put on the full armor of God, so that you can take your stand against the devil’s schemes. For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms. Therefore put on the full armor of God, so that when the day of evil comes, you may be able to stand your ground, and after you have done everything, to stand. Stand firm then, with the belt of truth buckled around your waist, with the breastplate of righteousness in place, and with your feet fitted with the readiness that comes from the gospel of peace. In addition to all this, take up the shield of faith, with which you can extinguish all the flaming arrows of the evil one. Take the helmet of salvation and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God.

And pray in the Spirit on all occasions with all kinds of prayers and requests. With this in mind, be alert and always keep on praying for all the Lord’s people. Ephesians 6: 10-18

Not about the Bunnies.

You shall not bear false witness against your neighbor. Exodus 20:16

It’s very obvious that as Christians we are commanded not to lie, but we are also commanded to speak the truth, even when it is difficult or might be offensive. It is one thing to love your neighbors, not to covet, commit adultery, and not murder or steal, but those are all things that you would expect from a normal person, but to speak the truth regardless of the outcome? That requires faith.

I have written before about my struggle between trying to fit in and trying to glorify God, and have become even more acutely aware of the disservice I am doing to the people that I love the most by bending or softening the truth and reality of their need for Jesus. I want my family and friends to feel the love I feel from God and to have the comfort in knowing that life doesn't just end, yet instead I find myself shying away from questions that might lead to some of the most meaningful conversations.

A little over a year ago, I was drowning in anxiety, depression and self-centeredness, I felt like my life was spinning out of control. At the time I had made two friends in particular who were Christians, and instead of letting me wallow in self-pity, they started to me about the Truth of the Gospel of Jesus Christ. Over the next few months, I asked them a lot of difficult questions regarding issues and circumstances that I didn't feel like I understood or agreed with, and they stood anchored in their faith and continued to shine light on the truth. I began to seek the Lord because I saw their steadfast faith in trusting in God and the truth of His Word and promises, and I know that the Lord placed them in my life to lead me to him.

When I think of how I handle situations with my own friends who are not believers, I can’t say that I have always stayed rooted in truth. I have often found myself nodding silently or biting my tongue only to kick myself later for wasting such a great opportunity to shine the light of Jesus into their lives. I become increasingly aware daily how desperately I need Jesus in my life and know that the best way to love my friends is by helping them see their need for a savior too. During Easter time, I can’t help but think about all of the years I wasted thinking that the celebration was egg hunts and bunnies. I knew that Jesus had died, but had no idea what that truly meant. For the second year this year, I am able to celebrate Jesus’s resurrection and appreciate His victory for those who trust in Him over sin and death. As I rejoice in my salvation, I am reminded of how imperative it is that I declare the Truth of the Gospel to those I love as the only eternal hope they have.

Therefore, preparing your minds for action, and being sober-minded, set your hope fully on the grace that will be brought to you at the revelation of Jesus Christ. 14 As obedient children, do not be conformed to the passions of your former ignorance, 15 but as he who called you is holy, you also be holy in all your conduct, 16 since it is written, “You shall be holy, for I am holy.” 17 And if you call on him as Father who judges impartially according to each one's deeds, conduct yourselves with fear throughout the time of your exile, knowing that you were ransomed from the futile ways inherited from your forefathers, not with perishable things such as silver or gold, 19 but with the precious blood of Christ, like that of a lamb without blemish or spot. 20 He was foreknown before the foundation of the world but was made manifest in the last times for the sake of you 21 who through him are believers in God, who raised him from the dead and gave him glory, so that your faith and hope are in God.22 Having purified your souls by your obedience to the truth for a sincere brotherly love, love one another earnestly from a pure heart, 23 since you have been born again, not of perishable seed but of imperishable, through the living and abiding word of God; 24 for
“All flesh is like grass
and all its glory like the flower of grass.
The grass withers,
and the flower falls,
25 but the word of the Lord remains forever.”
And this word is the good news that was preached to you. 1 Peter 1:13-25

The Slippery Slope

Fear the LORD your God, serve him only and take your oaths in his name. Do not follow other gods, the gods of the peoples around you. Deuteronomy 6:13–14

Often, when I think of idolatry I think of the worldly things that can get in the way of following Christ, but lately I have found that the idols I have struggled with the most are myself, and my relationships. Throughout the past few months I have felt disconnected, and had wondered why. I felt like I was doing the right things by seeking community with other Christians, joining small groups, and bearing witness to friends and family, yet still I felt disconnected, somewhat out of control and without purpose. 

This past weekend, while Brendan was in the field, I decided to go to Columbus, GA and visit my friends from my previous church, and over the course of the weekend I became aware of just how little I was serving God. When I had moved to Fayetteville from Columbus, I had felt a hole in my heart from the community of believers that I had left, and while I got involved with a church here, I constantly felt a twinge of longing to move back to Columbus. 

As I spent time with my friends, I spoke to them about my church in Fayetteville and all the blessings it has given us so far and found myself reflecting on all the miracles God has brought into our life since our move and was amazed at how quickly they had been forgotten. I realized that when I got to Fayetteville, I became self-reliant again and I basically looked to God and said, “Thanks for saving me, but I can handle it from here. I’ll find a church, find community and I’ll be ok.” My quiet time with God plummeted, and though I was talking about Him, I wasn’t really spending a lot of time talking to Him. As one of the ladies reminded me that God had placed us in Fayetteville for a reason and that we are to be lights in the world, I wondered how great of a light I had been lately. The answer was: not a very good one.

I thought about how little I just sit and read the Bible and rest in the Lord, and how often I have conversations about things I need prayer for, yet pray for those things so little. I suddenly realized how slippery the slope of idolatry was. It’s easy to recognize idolatry when you place work over God, or when you prefer to read a tabloid instead of the Bible. It gets a little less obvious when it’s as simple as basing your relationship with God on the church you attend or the relationships you have with other Christians. 

I’m not saying that going to a church and having a community of believers isn’t important. What I am saying is that it’s not important so that you feel connected and special, it’s because having Christians encouraging, loving and supporting each other makes the glory of God shine. God showed me that relationships, even with other Christians are empty unless God is at the center of them, and how impossible it is to have a God glorifying relationship with anyone unless we spend time alone with Him resting in his grace and truth.

Therefore, brothers, since we have confidence to enter the holy places by the blood of Jesus, by the new and living way that he opened for us through the curtain, that is, through his flesh, and since we have a great priest over the house of God, let us draw near with a true heart in full assurance of faith, with our hearts sprinkled clean from an evil conscience and our bodies washed with pure water. Let us hold fast the confession of our hope without wavering, for he who promised is faithful. And let us consider how to stir up one another to love and good works, not neglecting to meet together, as is the habit of some, but encouraging one another, and all the more as you see the Day drawing near. Hebrews 10:19-25

He Did More.

Brendan has passed the Florida Phase of Ranger School! He will be graduating and home on Friday!

If you would like to see his graduation, it is on Friday August 24th at Hurley Hill Training Area.. here is a map and more info

Best phone call ever!

Yesterday I waited from the moment my eyes opened in the morning until I resigned myself at 10:30pm to the possibility that Brendan wouldn't be able to call until Monday or Tuesday and decided I should try to get some sleep. As I was staring at the ceiling pretending to be tired, my phone rang from a Florida number I didn't know. The conversation went like this:

Me: Hello?
Caller: Oh hi Beeb
Me: Are you coming home yet?
Brendan: Yes

We talked for about 5 minutes about plans for graduation and how we were doing and then he had to go to let the other soldiers use the phone and I got busy letting our family and friends know that Brendan was coming home.

Facebook saved my sanity for letting the most people know

I am emotionally exhausted and overwhelmed.

Yesterday was probably the most emotionally trying day of my life so far. Before I heard from Brendan, my phone was going crazy with messages and calls of people wanting to know if I heard anything. While I appreciated their thoughts, every time my phone went off my heart skipped a beat and then dropped when I saw that it wasn't Brendan. I cried in Church, cried when I got home by myself, and by the time Brendan actually called, I was so exhausted that I couldn't even express any emotion. I mentioned in a previous post that right now I am stuck in two emotional planes: emotionally shut off or hysterically crying. Yesterday started with hysterical and ended with me being a zombie.

Today started the preparations for Brendan's homecoming... which includes: making sure the apartment is clean and the laundry room is ready to be destroyed, making the dogs look extra pretty, figuring out how to grocery shop for a malnourished man, and coordinating travel and graduation plans with family. I think I'm running on fumes right now.

I am just so excited to see Brendan that I can't shut my brain down. I feel the need to be in perpetual motion until the moment I see him or else I might explode. If I knew how to knit, I might have made about 10 blankets by now.

I was having conversation with one of my friends earlier and she could tell I was stressed and suggested that I take a break from everything I'm doing and just relax for a few hours... little did she know I had already planned out my entire day. Luckily, God had planned my day too and gave me the truth I needed to hear to still my restless heart.

After work, I went to a Bible study with some women from my church and they have been going through Romans. Today we looked at Romans 15: 1-13. Verse 13 really hit home for me and for what this season has brought to me.

May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace in believing, so that by the power of the Holy Spirit you may abound in hope. Romans 15:13 ESV

We talked about how we often associate God with hope and joy and belief, but it's very difficult for us as humans to find peace by putting our trust in the Lord. By nature I am a control freak, so when things are out of my control it's usually terrifying and stressful; But this passage does not say let God give you hope, Paul refers to Him as the God of hope. He is a God of restoration, He cuts off things in our life that will make us take simple paths, leaving us with nothing but our hope in God.

Later tonight, I had dinner with another girl from my church and in our conversation, we were talking about her boyfriend who completed Ranger School last month. She was telling me about this hat he gave her that had all of these scripture verses in it. She told me about one phrase he had written on the inside, it said "He did more".

How amazing is it that no matter what we do in our lives Jesus always did more?

...

I've sat here for 20 minutes trying to think of what to say to conclude this post and can't think of anything to say that is more important than the truth that Jesus did more. It's something that needs to be said and repeated every day, several times a day, perhaps even all day. The sinless One suffered and died for the sins of all who trust and believe in Him.

There is therefore now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus. ² For the law of the Spirit of life has set you free in Christ Jesus from the law of sin and death. ³ For God has done what the law, weakened by the flesh, could not do. By sending his own Son in the likeness of sinful flesh and for sin,^[ he condemned sin in the flesh, ⁴ in order that the righteous requirement of the law might be fulfilled in us, who walk not according to the flesh but according to the Spirit. Romans 8: 1-4

God has given me a place and rest that I can come to no matter what trials I am going through. I never have to travel far to get there because He always meets me right where I am; So as I wait for Brendan to come home I will be thankful to God for cutting off the simple paths that wouldn't have lead us into His everlasting grace.