Monday, October 27, 2014
Wednesday, July 30, 2014
Traveling for Two
With Brendan in and out of the field frequently, it's nice for me to be able to travel sometimes to visit family or friends. In the past 6 months, Luke has gone on four trips which included airplane rides, two to Orlando, one to Maine, and one to Key West. After this last one, I finally feel like I have the art of traveling with a baby down to a relative science.
I always make sure to start laying things out a few days in advance. As far as packing for Luke's clothes, I usually make sure to pack pj's for the amount of nights we will be away plus one extra pair and usually two changes of clothes per day. If it's during warm weather I usually throw in one sweatshirt and pair of pants to make sure he doesn't get too cold.
Below I have a list of my most valuable items for on the road!
1. First Years Umbrella Stroller- when Luke was smaller, I used our BOB stroller which was great for maneuvering but difficult to fold down and check. Now that he can hold his head up well, we use this umbrella stroller a lot more often. It gives me the option to have him ride in the stroller or if I use my Ergo to carry him, I can put some of my stuff in the stroller. Plus, no one wants to have to use the bathroom with a baby strapped on your chest.
2. Aden and Anais Swaddling Blankets- I try to carry at least two of these in my diaper bag. If we get to the airport early or have a long layover and the airport isn't too crowded I will lay one down and let Luke stretch out and play with his toys. I use the second one on the airplane if it's a little chilly. Once I get wherever I'm going, they're great for draping over the car seat if Luke needs a nap on the go or if he needs a little extra shade. (They're also great for spit up.)
3. Nuby Sippy Cup- Luke has just recently started to use his sippy cup. He isn't very great at getting water out of it without my assistance... But it keeps him busy trying for at least 10 minutes every time.
4. Plum Organics food pouches- Luke loves these! They travel well, are 3.5 ounces so there's no issues with TSA and they once again keep Luke busy. (See a pattern here?)
5. Ergo Performance Carrier- I love using this carrier, the TSA will let you carry your baby through the metal detector with this and it's great for keeping your little one contained. The one weird thing is that you're not allowed to have the babies in the carriers for takeoff or landing, but I really don't know how I would travel (or do anything for that matter) without the Ergo.
6. Bright Starts Lots of Links- Luke loves to chew on the different textures of these and to play with them in general. I usually hook a bunch of them from the stroller when he's in it and then look like a crazy person with a bunch hanging from my backpack too.
7. Drawstring Backpack (similar)- I have stopped using a diaper bag for now and get more use out of a drawstring backpack with lots of outside pouches and a diaper clutch! I really like being able to carry it on my back. (Yes I know they make backpack diaper bags but they're so dang expensive!)
8. Infinity Nursing scarf- this keeps me modest while nursing during takeoff and landing, plus the cover helps Luke not get distracted while nursing and sometimes he even falls asleep!
9. Brica Carseat Bag- this thing is awesome. It has straps to wear as a backpack and also wheels to roll it. It also has enough storage in an outside pocket to hold a weeks worth of clothes for Luke which makes my bag a while lot smaller!
So how do I maneuver all of that stuff? Well, here's a step by step:
It looks a little like this:
We have been pretty lucky so far with Luke not having issues with ears popping, but we nurse during take off and I always have at least one to two pacifiers on hand! This past trip, my iPad has really been useful not only with distracting Luke, but also for reading or watching videos when he sleeps! Books are difficult to maneuver while holding a baby.
I hope this has been helpful for you, and happy traveling!
Tuesday, July 29, 2014
Florida with Luke
So, last week Luke and I took a trip down to Florida to visit my parents and see my Grandmother's new house (she recently relocated to the same community as my parents!). I've been trying to visit my family as often as I can because chances are our next assignment will not be as close.It's so nice to be able to take a quick trip down when Brendan is gone. Traveling with Luke is definitely getting a little more interesting. On one hand, I've got the maneuvering down, but on the other hand he's getting more active and less likely to sleep during flight. [post on how I handle traveling is in the works] Luke loves seeing his grandparents and swimming, and I really appreciate the extra set of hands.
When I've gone down in the past, we've usually made a trip to Disney to walk around or something, but this week we figured it was way too hot and that Disney would probably be really crowded so we hung around my parents house and swam and went to a nice dinner in a small town called Winter Garden. I love quaint little town centers, it reminds me of the Hudson Valley in New York.
Over the past week or so, Luke has definitely gotten way more interested in food the past few days so if I'm eating he wants to be too, I have a feeling I'm going to have a good eater on my hands! He can chew most foods with his gums so I've been giving him small bites of whatever I'm eating. So far he hasn't spit anything out.
Here are some snapshots from our trip:
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| My little water baby |
Wednesday, July 23, 2014
Are you new here?
I decided to write this post after having spent the past few years getting acquainted with the subtle nuances of Army life. I am definitely no expert, but these pieces of advice are what I have felt have helped me embrace this journey. I will say that so far, I am one of the lucky ones, Brendan has not been deployed yet and our longest separation has only (I know to civilians this is abnormal to say only right now) been six months. I have an immense amount of respect and admiration for my friends and those military spouses I don't know who have kept the home fires burning during long (and usually multiple) delployments.
Hi, you must be new,
I might not know you but I feel like I do. I was you only three short years ago. In the grand scheme of things I'm still new. I don't know everything, but I do know how you feel. You are probably miles away from friends and family (because Army posts aren't usually located in convenient locations). You might be in a new area of the country or even in a different country getting used to not only the culture shock but also the subtle differences between the civilian world and this new military world. You are doing this while your husband leaves you alone in this strange place for a few weeks for training or possibly for a 9 month deployment. I want you to know you're not alone; Even though you probably feel very alone right now. I also want to give you some pieces of advice that I wish I had taken from the beginning in hopes that it will make it easier for you.
Plug in. Plug in no matter if you're going to be there for 3 months or 3 years. Get involved with the FRG or ask your husband to introduce you to the wives of his married co-workers, get involved at your church. When we first moved to Ft. Benning, I was determined to steer clear of the dreaded FRG that I had heard so many horror stories about and was convinced I had enough friends and didn't need any more. I was wrong. Although we were only there for a year, I ended up making some of by best friends during that year. When you move somewhere and then your husband is gone for 10 out of the next 16 weeks, then for 6 months straight. You need friends; and more importantly you need friends that understand and that are going through the same thing. Don't believe what you hear about FRG's or other army wives, I mean you're pretty normal right? There have to be other normal wives for you to hang out with. Plus, when they say "it's a small army" they're right. Chances are you'll run into some of these women again.
Ask for help when you need it, give help when you can. Being far away from family can be frustrating and sometimes life doesn't happen when it's convenient. Babies seem to have a way of being born as soon as you move to a new area or while husbands are deployed, and things have a tendency of breaking as soon as our husbands head to the field for a week. If someone offers to help, accept it, and if you see someone in need of a meal, a lawn mowed or just a bottle of wine and a shoulder to lean on, be that person. You'll learn quickly that the army is a family and just as our husbands take care of their guys and we take care of our own too.
If you don't know, ask. There is nothing wrong with not knowing something whether it be an acronym (how are we supposed to know that DONSA stands for "day of no significant activity" aka a day off?) or what to wear to a social gathering (each unit varies depending on the preferences of the commander and his wife). I still ask a million questions about everything.
Try not to get angry with your husband for circumstances he can't control. It's frustrating after a long week when your husband calls you and says he has to go in on a Saturday, or when it seems like his phone rings as soon as you fall asleep and he has to get up and go back to work. Try not to get mad at him, chances are he isn't pleased about it either. Sometimes it's hard to keep things in perspective when we look at their training calendars and realize they will be gone more weeks than home over the next few months. It's hard to remember that chances are, they didn't make the schedule, and the importance of their training. It's something I struggle with, especially now with having a baby that misses his daddy and a mama that sometimes just needs a break, but when I get upset I try to remember that Brendan misses us too.
Don't be offended when you realize that your husband wants to deploy. This is a tough one. For the most part, our husbands want to deploy, especially if they haven't yet (from what I've heard the novelty wears off after the first time around). The way it was explained to me was: imagine training every day for years for a marathon that you never get to run. That's what they feel like sometimes. The fact that they want to deploy doesn't translate into, "I want to leave you behind for nine months," even though we sometimes can twist it into that. Our guys are a rare breed that take pride in their job of defending our country, so as much as we want them here you have to understand and respect their desire to serve overseas.
Always remember what it felt like to be "the new girl". The best thing about the military community is people are always so welcoming and it's easy to connect if you want to. I think this is because since we move so often that everyone remembers what it's like to be the new people in town. That mutual experience quickly turns strangers into friends and friends into family. So in a year or even six months when you spot someone looking a little lost and out of place, remember that you were them not so long ago, and in a couple of years you will probably be them again.
Don't get frustrated or jealous if some of your non military friends don't understand. Sometimes it's hard to explain for what seems like the millionth time why your husband is gone again, or why it's easier to reschedule things (like weddings) than hope the army will give you time off. Chances are if they're asking questions it's their way of trying to figure out how best to help you, so try to express your needs to them. It's easy to sometimes be jealous of our friends who can actually choose where they live and seem to have endless quality time with their spouses, but different isn't always better. The grass is always greener, right? The Army isn't forever. Eventually you will be able to choose where you live and will have time to spend together. Embrace where you are now and enjoy the time you do have.
Always make your marriage your number one priority. Unfortunately sometimes our husbands have to put the needs of the Army in front of the needs of their families. It's frustrating, and sometimes you might even feel like your husband is mentally checked out of the relationship and constantly in another place. These are the times when you must be the one to press into the marriage even more and remind your husband that you will be there long after he ends his time in the army. Often you might feel like you are giving more of yourself than he is, but that is what marriage was designed to be. Love is not a conditional thing, you cannot love someone because of what it gives you, you have to love them regardless of what they are able to give at the time. Although this is difficult, I feel extremely blessed to be in a situation that really shows me what unconditional love looks like lived out.
I hope that you will take some of this advice and that it helps you feel less overwhelmed. Marriage is great, and so is being a military spouse. You will get to travel the world and have the adventure of a lifetime with the love of your life! So have fun creating your memories and enjoy everyone you meet along the way.
Hi, you must be new,
I might not know you but I feel like I do. I was you only three short years ago. In the grand scheme of things I'm still new. I don't know everything, but I do know how you feel. You are probably miles away from friends and family (because Army posts aren't usually located in convenient locations). You might be in a new area of the country or even in a different country getting used to not only the culture shock but also the subtle differences between the civilian world and this new military world. You are doing this while your husband leaves you alone in this strange place for a few weeks for training or possibly for a 9 month deployment. I want you to know you're not alone; Even though you probably feel very alone right now. I also want to give you some pieces of advice that I wish I had taken from the beginning in hopes that it will make it easier for you.
Plug in. Plug in no matter if you're going to be there for 3 months or 3 years. Get involved with the FRG or ask your husband to introduce you to the wives of his married co-workers, get involved at your church. When we first moved to Ft. Benning, I was determined to steer clear of the dreaded FRG that I had heard so many horror stories about and was convinced I had enough friends and didn't need any more. I was wrong. Although we were only there for a year, I ended up making some of by best friends during that year. When you move somewhere and then your husband is gone for 10 out of the next 16 weeks, then for 6 months straight. You need friends; and more importantly you need friends that understand and that are going through the same thing. Don't believe what you hear about FRG's or other army wives, I mean you're pretty normal right? There have to be other normal wives for you to hang out with. Plus, when they say "it's a small army" they're right. Chances are you'll run into some of these women again.
If you don't know, ask. There is nothing wrong with not knowing something whether it be an acronym (how are we supposed to know that DONSA stands for "day of no significant activity" aka a day off?) or what to wear to a social gathering (each unit varies depending on the preferences of the commander and his wife). I still ask a million questions about everything.
Try not to get angry with your husband for circumstances he can't control. It's frustrating after a long week when your husband calls you and says he has to go in on a Saturday, or when it seems like his phone rings as soon as you fall asleep and he has to get up and go back to work. Try not to get mad at him, chances are he isn't pleased about it either. Sometimes it's hard to keep things in perspective when we look at their training calendars and realize they will be gone more weeks than home over the next few months. It's hard to remember that chances are, they didn't make the schedule, and the importance of their training. It's something I struggle with, especially now with having a baby that misses his daddy and a mama that sometimes just needs a break, but when I get upset I try to remember that Brendan misses us too.
Don't be offended when you realize that your husband wants to deploy. This is a tough one. For the most part, our husbands want to deploy, especially if they haven't yet (from what I've heard the novelty wears off after the first time around). The way it was explained to me was: imagine training every day for years for a marathon that you never get to run. That's what they feel like sometimes. The fact that they want to deploy doesn't translate into, "I want to leave you behind for nine months," even though we sometimes can twist it into that. Our guys are a rare breed that take pride in their job of defending our country, so as much as we want them here you have to understand and respect their desire to serve overseas.
Always remember what it felt like to be "the new girl". The best thing about the military community is people are always so welcoming and it's easy to connect if you want to. I think this is because since we move so often that everyone remembers what it's like to be the new people in town. That mutual experience quickly turns strangers into friends and friends into family. So in a year or even six months when you spot someone looking a little lost and out of place, remember that you were them not so long ago, and in a couple of years you will probably be them again.
Don't get frustrated or jealous if some of your non military friends don't understand. Sometimes it's hard to explain for what seems like the millionth time why your husband is gone again, or why it's easier to reschedule things (like weddings) than hope the army will give you time off. Chances are if they're asking questions it's their way of trying to figure out how best to help you, so try to express your needs to them. It's easy to sometimes be jealous of our friends who can actually choose where they live and seem to have endless quality time with their spouses, but different isn't always better. The grass is always greener, right? The Army isn't forever. Eventually you will be able to choose where you live and will have time to spend together. Embrace where you are now and enjoy the time you do have.
Always make your marriage your number one priority. Unfortunately sometimes our husbands have to put the needs of the Army in front of the needs of their families. It's frustrating, and sometimes you might even feel like your husband is mentally checked out of the relationship and constantly in another place. These are the times when you must be the one to press into the marriage even more and remind your husband that you will be there long after he ends his time in the army. Often you might feel like you are giving more of yourself than he is, but that is what marriage was designed to be. Love is not a conditional thing, you cannot love someone because of what it gives you, you have to love them regardless of what they are able to give at the time. Although this is difficult, I feel extremely blessed to be in a situation that really shows me what unconditional love looks like lived out.
I hope that you will take some of this advice and that it helps you feel less overwhelmed. Marriage is great, and so is being a military spouse. You will get to travel the world and have the adventure of a lifetime with the love of your life! So have fun creating your memories and enjoy everyone you meet along the way.
Friday, July 18, 2014
First 6 Months Favorite Toys
There are so many things that you can buy for your baby. Gadgets that parents swear make their kids sleep better, sit up faster, turn into math geniuses... They make something for everything. Some stuff I don't put much stock into, but there are definitely a few items that ended up being super helpful and one or two that were essential for my and Luke's sanity.
Since the Army moves us around so much, Brendan and I try to be pretty minimalist when it comes to toys and things, but even minimalist makes our house seem more like a toy store than a house! Keeping a baby entertained is not as easy as you think! Here is my list of favorites for the first 6 months!
1. Lamaze Moose Toy- this toy has been Luke's favorite since he was about 6 weeks old! He used to like it when we rubbed the mooses' nose on his face, now he likes the fact that the antlers and tail are good for teething and that there are little bells in the feet that jingle when he moves them. Luke likes this toy so much that it goes everywhere with us and my parents bought one to keep at their house.
2. Bright Starts Activity Gym- around 6 weeks Luke still just wanted to be held all the time, if he was awake and not being held, he cried. So, we bought this for Luke hoping that it would entertain him long enough that I could throw a load of laundry in or do the dishes. He loved it, he would just lay under it and stare at it and bat at the toys. Now, he's more interested in collapsing the gym on its side or sitting up in front go it to play with the hanging toys.
3. Bright Starts Lots of Links- these little things are good for everything! I attach a link of them to the activity gym, the jumper and Luke's car seat. They keep Luke entertained and give him different textures to touch and chew on when he's teething. I also use them to attach toys to his highchair cover and to his stroller.
4. Sassy Jumper- Luke is obsessed with bouncing. He spends 2-3 hours per day in this. Lately he has noticed his shadow on the wall and ground when bouncing and gets a kick out of watching his shadow.
5. Sensory Blanket- we were given a home made sensory blanket as a gift and lately Luke has really enjoyed playing with all the tags, especially when he's getting a little sleepy.
6. Fisher Price Snail- At about 4 months, Luke really started to like cause and effect toys, so I picked up this toy. When you hit it, it lights up and plays a song (and also sometimes out of nowhere creepily). It also has a mirror on it which he loves!
7. Baby Einstein Blocks- These blocks are big and soft which make them easy for Luke to grab and great for sticking in his mouth. He loves to knock them over after I stack them for him. Also, each block is a different theme (numbers, colors ect.) which is great for helping him learn basics.
8. Fisher Price Swing n' Seat- this swing was essential especially the first few months. Although I swore I would never use a swing or other aid to make Luke sleep, it was the only place he napped and sometimes when I got sick of rocking him at 3am I would let him sleep in the swing for a few hours. (I learned quickly to never say never to anything when it comes to being a parent!) He still enjoys sitting in it and staring at the toy above him and when his stomach hurts he likes the vibrations. I have thought before that if I were to choose a swing again, I might choose one that plugs in instead of one that is battery operated, but on second thought, its nice being able to just pick the swing up and move it without having to worry about plugs.
Now that Luke is getting older and more interactive, I'm on the hunt to find some new toys for him! What are your favorites?
Since the Army moves us around so much, Brendan and I try to be pretty minimalist when it comes to toys and things, but even minimalist makes our house seem more like a toy store than a house! Keeping a baby entertained is not as easy as you think! Here is my list of favorites for the first 6 months!
1. Lamaze Moose Toy- this toy has been Luke's favorite since he was about 6 weeks old! He used to like it when we rubbed the mooses' nose on his face, now he likes the fact that the antlers and tail are good for teething and that there are little bells in the feet that jingle when he moves them. Luke likes this toy so much that it goes everywhere with us and my parents bought one to keep at their house.
2. Bright Starts Activity Gym- around 6 weeks Luke still just wanted to be held all the time, if he was awake and not being held, he cried. So, we bought this for Luke hoping that it would entertain him long enough that I could throw a load of laundry in or do the dishes. He loved it, he would just lay under it and stare at it and bat at the toys. Now, he's more interested in collapsing the gym on its side or sitting up in front go it to play with the hanging toys.
3. Bright Starts Lots of Links- these little things are good for everything! I attach a link of them to the activity gym, the jumper and Luke's car seat. They keep Luke entertained and give him different textures to touch and chew on when he's teething. I also use them to attach toys to his highchair cover and to his stroller.
4. Sassy Jumper- Luke is obsessed with bouncing. He spends 2-3 hours per day in this. Lately he has noticed his shadow on the wall and ground when bouncing and gets a kick out of watching his shadow.
5. Sensory Blanket- we were given a home made sensory blanket as a gift and lately Luke has really enjoyed playing with all the tags, especially when he's getting a little sleepy.
6. Fisher Price Snail- At about 4 months, Luke really started to like cause and effect toys, so I picked up this toy. When you hit it, it lights up and plays a song (and also sometimes out of nowhere creepily). It also has a mirror on it which he loves!
7. Baby Einstein Blocks- These blocks are big and soft which make them easy for Luke to grab and great for sticking in his mouth. He loves to knock them over after I stack them for him. Also, each block is a different theme (numbers, colors ect.) which is great for helping him learn basics.
8. Fisher Price Swing n' Seat- this swing was essential especially the first few months. Although I swore I would never use a swing or other aid to make Luke sleep, it was the only place he napped and sometimes when I got sick of rocking him at 3am I would let him sleep in the swing for a few hours. (I learned quickly to never say never to anything when it comes to being a parent!) He still enjoys sitting in it and staring at the toy above him and when his stomach hurts he likes the vibrations. I have thought before that if I were to choose a swing again, I might choose one that plugs in instead of one that is battery operated, but on second thought, its nice being able to just pick the swing up and move it without having to worry about plugs.
Now that Luke is getting older and more interactive, I'm on the hunt to find some new toys for him! What are your favorites?
Tuesday, July 15, 2014
C-Section Moms Must Haves
Before having Luke, I scoured the web looking for the best list of things that would help me through the first few weeks postpartum. Most of these I luckily already had, but some I purchased later and am so glad I did! With the exception of two of these items, I feel that this list is essential for every new mom!
1. C-Panty by UpSpring Baby- My c-section recovery was rough to put it mildly. Everything hurt.. Sitting up, walking, even rolling over in bed brought on tears. I asked some other c-section moms what helped them and they all came back with the same answer: C-Panty! It has a layer of medical grade silicon over the incision site that really helps with healing and the compression helps with the pain, and helped a little with beginning to suck my tummy back in, think of them as post partum Spanx!
2. Infinity Nursing Scarf- this is my new go-to present for moms-to-be who plan on nursing. I have about 5 different colored/patterned ones that I bought off Etsy! Personally, the scarves were much easier for me to maneuver than other nursing covers. I happen to be a more modest when it comes to public nursing (in fact I wasn't sure I would ever be able to when I first had Luke!) and these scarves are perfect. Not only can I feel comfortable nursing in public, but I can add a pop of color to my outfits!
3. Belly Bandit- I totally doubled up with this and the C-Panty to help shrink down my post baby belly. It worked great, but within 3 weeks of wearing the small it was loose on me and I needed to go back and grab an extra small (which I'm not complaining about!)
4. CamelBak Eddy Water Bottle- this water bottle went everywhere with me the first few months. I loved the fact that it had a straw which made staying hydrated while nursing so much easier (because thirst ALWAYS hits you as soon as you start nursing.)
5. Boppy Nursing Pillow (with at least one spare cover)- I still use my Boppy every day not only to nurse, but also to put behind Luke when he's sitting up so he doesn't constantly knock his head on the ground!
6. Lanisoh Soothies Gel Pads- along with lanolin cream and a homemade mixture of neosporin, clomitrosol, and cortisone creams (recommended by a friend), these pads really provided a lot of relief during the first few weeks of soreness.
7. Fold Over Yoga Pants- with most pants cutting off right where the incision was, I basically lived in inexpensive yoga pants and maternity leggings for the first month or so post partum.
8. Gilligan & O'Malley Nursing Tanks- if you come to my house most days, you will find me in one of these tanks. They're super comfy and make nursing a breeze!
Life With Luke
The past 5 months I have stepped away from the computer and blogging to concentrate on being the kind of mom I want to be. I felt like every single time I turned around Luke was doing something new, I was afraid to look away even for a minute because I thought I would miss something. (Plus he didn't seem to like naps, so by the time I showered/ate something when he did nap, he was up again before I managed to do much else.)
Life with Luke has been the most rewarding, challenging, and re-defining experience of my life. There are times when I feel like I'm doing everything wrong and I think I'm going crazy, and then Luke rolls over for the first time or sits up on his own and I would never want to be anywhere else.
Luke is probably one of the most easy going babies ever. After he grew out of his normal newborn fussiness, he grew into a happy little baby. For the most part, he's perfectly content to go anywhere that we do, as long as we have some toys to entertain him. He rolled over for the first time right around 3 months and hasn't stopped since. He loves rolling around, inch worming to get his toys and sitting up on his own. He has also begun really loving hanging out with our little dog Carrie, who loves to lick Luke's face and will let him climb all over her! He's also obsessed with swimming and being in the water, luckily one of my friends has a pool that we use and we bought a small kiddie pool for the deck although he much prefers me to hold him with his tummy in the water to let him "swim on his own". We will be taking mommy and me swim classes at the end of this month!
The one thing that I've noticed though is that his sleep schedule does get a little frazzled after travel. We returned from Maine almost 3 weeks ago and he still isn't back to normal. I think part of it is growth spurts and developmental leaps as much as traveling.
Hopefully, I will get back into a blogging routine now because I have lots to say and Luke doesn't seem to understand me when I speak. I've missed writing but am happy to have taken a step back to focus on motherhood!
Life with Luke has been the most rewarding, challenging, and re-defining experience of my life. There are times when I feel like I'm doing everything wrong and I think I'm going crazy, and then Luke rolls over for the first time or sits up on his own and I would never want to be anywhere else.
Luke is probably one of the most easy going babies ever. After he grew out of his normal newborn fussiness, he grew into a happy little baby. For the most part, he's perfectly content to go anywhere that we do, as long as we have some toys to entertain him. He rolled over for the first time right around 3 months and hasn't stopped since. He loves rolling around, inch worming to get his toys and sitting up on his own. He has also begun really loving hanging out with our little dog Carrie, who loves to lick Luke's face and will let him climb all over her! He's also obsessed with swimming and being in the water, luckily one of my friends has a pool that we use and we bought a small kiddie pool for the deck although he much prefers me to hold him with his tummy in the water to let him "swim on his own". We will be taking mommy and me swim classes at the end of this month!
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| Best Friends! |
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| In his backyard oasis |
We had decided before we had Luke that i wanted us to not stop living our lives because we had a baby and wanted to make lasting memories with Luke from an early age. I have travelled twice on my own with Luke and once with Brendan, and I'm so glad we have been able to enjoy traveling and making with our little guy from such a young age. So far, Luke has traveled to Orlando, Asheville, Key West, Maine, and Wilmington. He likes planes and doesn't mind driving as long as he doesn't get too hot.
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| Disney with Luke at 2 months |
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| Getting ready to fly to Key West, 3 Months |
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| Key West, 3 Months |
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| Asheville at 3 Months |
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| Riding to the Biltmore |
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| At the Beach in Maine, 5 months |
Hopefully, I will get back into a blogging routine now because I have lots to say and Luke doesn't seem to understand me when I speak. I've missed writing but am happy to have taken a step back to focus on motherhood!
Monday, February 10, 2014
My Birth Story
When it comes to having a baby, you can plan everything out... but then real life happens. The same was true for me with labor and delivery. Leading up to my due date, I spent a lot of time researching and talking with other moms about labor and my options for pain management. In the end, I had decided that I would like to try to have an unmedicated birth with the assistance of my husband and a doula. For those of you who aren't sure what a doula is, it's fine, I wasn't either. A doula is basically another advocate for the mother, mine was available 24/7 for questions before I went into labor, during labor she was there to talk me through contractions, help me relax, and understand my options, and was available afterwards for help with breastfeeding and normal newborn questions. I had several fiends that did unmedicated births recommend having a doula to assist me and to give Brendan a break as my labor progressed and 3 separate people ended up recommending the same one, Doris Ann. After Brendan and I met with her, we agreed that hiring Doris Ann would give me the best shot of having the birth experience that I wanted.
My Birth Plan and What Really Happened
In the weeks prior to delivery, I typed up a birth plan and shared it with Doris Ann and my doctors. While I knew I wouldn't feel like a failure if I needed an epidural, I really wanted to have a natural delivery. Although I had a birth plan, I tried to not have any expectations because I knew I wouldn't be able to even imagine how childbirth felt.
As I approached my due date, I kept waiting for signs that labor was coming, but never felt any contractions that were alarming. At my 40 week appointment on Friday, I had an ultrasound where they estimated Luke to be about 9 and a half pounds which made me alarmed given my slight frame. I was disappointed to find out that I was barely dilated and there were no signs that Luke would be arriving any time soon.
That night, around 2am I finally lost my mucus plug and began to have contractions. The contractions continued all day Saturday, but were only between 7 and 10 minutes apart, and weren't that painful so I knew I still had a long way to go. I tried to stay busy all day and Brendan and I went out to dinner with some friends that night.
That night, I took some Benadryl and tried to get some sleep to rest up because I knew that labor would probably happen within the next few days. Sunday morning, I woke up about 3 in the morning with contractions ranging between 3 and 5 minutes apart and much more uncomfortable. I called Doris Ann to tell her what was going on and I woke Brendan up and he helped me into the bath tub which helped me relax a little bit. Around 9am Doris Ann came over and we spent some time laboring at home. My contractions were somewhat inconsistent and would occasionally space out to 7 minutes apart. We tried to kick start the labor process by walking and having me bounce on the birthing ball but it seemed like I was losing steam so Doris Ann left for a few hours and came back around 7pm. We decided that maybe I needed a change of scenery since I hadn't transitioned into a new stage of labor so we went to Gander Mountain and Target and walked around. While we were out, I started being unable to walk through my contractions as they got more painful and began squatting for them... which probably looked pretty weird to other shoppers. Once we got back from Target, we made the decision that I should give my doctor a call since my contractions had been 3 minutes apart for several hours.
My doctor told me to go into the hospital so they could check and see if I was progressing. When I got to the hospital at about 10pm, I was 4cm dialated and 70% effaced so they admitted me and sent me up to the labor and delivery floor. Once I got up there, I continued to labor, bouncing on the birthing ball, standing next to the bed, and squatting during contractions. At about 2am, they checked my cervix again and although I had been laboring for a long time, I hadn't dilated any more than when I had arrived at the hospital, and we began discussing them breaking my water and the use of Pitocin to augment labor. We also decided that since it seemed my labor would be pretty long, it might be smart to get a mild sedative in an IV to help let me sleep between contractions so I could be rested for when it was time to push.
I got the sedative around 3am when they also broke my water, it was nice to be able to relax during contractions even if it was only for a few minutes. About an hour later, they gave me my first dose of Pitocin and my contractions became a lot stronger and more painful. Later on, I was given a higher dose of Pitocin and by 7:30 in the morning I had been in excruciating pain for quite some time and we noticed that Luke had passed his first stool in utero. When the doctor came in and checked me, I had only dilated 1 cm since I had entered the hospital almost 10 hours prior. At this point both Doris Ann and I agreed that something needed to change for me to be able to dilate to 10 cm and I knew that I would not be able to continue being in this amount of pain for another 10 hours (which was a pretty reasonable estimate for how long I would continue to labor) and still be able to push. We decided that maybe an epidural would help my body relax and dilate, and honestly at that point some pain relief was very welcome, so I got an epidural at about 8am.
As the epidural kicked in, I was able to relax and get some sleep, but the doctor and nurses noticed that while I was laying down, Luke's heart rate wasn't going up the way it was supposed to after contractions. We tried to switch positions and have me lay on different sides to correct the problem, but his heart rate just wasn't rising fast enough. At this point the doctor came in and we began to discuss the possibility of a c-section. After another 10 minutes or so at about 10am, it became evident that his heart rate would continue to have trouble regulating and the medical staff prepared me for a c-section.
The anesthesiologist came back in and turned my epidural into a spinal block, and they wheeled me into the ER. Once I was prepped, they allowed Brendan in to sit by my head as they gave me the c-section. It was less than three minutes after they began the surgery that I heard Luke's cry. Brendan kept telling me he sounded like a little baby bird. Since I was unable to move, the anesthesiologist took my phone and took some photos of Luke to show me as they examined him to make sure everything was okay. After they saw that he seemed normal, they gave him to Brendan and he laid him next to my head so I could see him before he walked him to the nursery. Afterwards, they stitched me up and brought me into recovery while they monitored me for about an hour and a half. Eventually, they wheeled me to my hospital room and a few minutes later they brought Luke in, and finally after two hours I got to hold my baby.
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| This is the first photo/glimpse I got of Luke |
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| This is what real people look like after a day and night of labor. |
It turned out that the reason I wasn't dilating was because Luke's head was turned to the side and it would have been difficult, if not impossible for me to deliver him that way. The c-section also turned out to be a blessing because his umbilical cord was wrapped around his neck, which could have been a big problem.
Looking back on the experience, I'm glad that I tried to labor for as long as I did because I know that I am able to handle the pain. I think that I used pain relief the way it is meant to be used and I don't feel like I would have done anything differently. Of course, I am disappointed that I had to have a c-section, but I think it was inevitable.
The parts that were the hardest for me came after Luke was born. I was devastated that he couldn't be placed on my chest in those first precious moments after he was born and was unreasonably jealous that other people were holding him and I was stuck strapped to a table. Later in the hospital, I was frustrated that I was unable to do anything except nurse him and even needed Brendan, my mom, or the nurses help latching him. I suffered from feelings of failure and inadequacy. I couldn't even get out of bed to shower or use the restroom without someone holding my arm, it was embarrassing and humbling to be so helpless I found myself constantly apologizing whenever I needed help and fighting back hot tears of embarrassment. Luckily, Brendan, our families, and the hospital staff were sensitive to my feelings and always helped me with a smile.
At the end of the day, my goal for childbirth were to have a healthy baby and mother, and on Thursday morning, Luke and I were wheeled out of the hospital healthy and happy. I could never hate my birth experience because, at the end of it I received a little miracle named Luke.
Two Becomes Three
Three weeks ago on January 20th after a long day and night of labor, Luke Michael Fox was born 3 days late at 10:25am at 8lbs8oz via c-section (more on that in a different post) and our family of two became three! Becoming parents was so surreal, even while I was in labor it still didn't seem like I was going to be a mom at the end of it. It wasn't until I heard his cry that I really believed that Luke would ever be here, but I am so glad that he is.
Since then, we have been adjusting to parenthood and a lot less sleep! Since I had an unplanned c-section, I spent four days in the hospital instead of two which was really helpful because I did not think I could handle our stairs yet. Brendan and our families was such a blessing especially during the first week because I really couldn't get out of bed even to use the bathroom without being in extreme pain. Before we had Luke, I knew Brendan loved me and that I loved him, but as I watched him interact with Luke and as he helped me do everything in those first few days, I really grew to love him even more. He served me so well by helping me with everything from getting out of bed and showering to bringing Luke to me to let me feed him and changing all of his diapers those first few days... He's still better at changing diapers than I am, although I'm quickly catching up. Whenever Luke went to the nursery for tests, you could usually find Brendan at the window looking at him.
For only being 3 weeks old, Luke is a pretty active guy. He likes to kick his legs and look around. He loves his swing, but is still getting used to seeing himself in the mirror. After around 1.5 weeks of thinking that day was night, we sort of have him on a schedule although he's still up every few hours to eat. He had some gas problems especially the second week which made him so uncomfortable that he wouldn't be awake without crying which was so frustrating for me that I couldn't make him feel better. After talking to some of my other mom friends, I purchased some infant gas relief drops to see if that would help and he has been a completely different baby.
He has already met both of his grandparents and gets visitors almost every day... he sleeps through their visits most of the time though. His favorite activities include sleeping all day, pooping... especially right after I change him, eating, and spitting up on me. Lately he's been going through several outfits a day and about 15 diapers... since I had a c-section we decided to hold off on cloth diapering until I was a little bit more recovered.
I have had a pretty difficult time adjusting to motherhood. Coupled with the hormones and exhaustion, there have been many times in the past few weeks where I felt defeated especially during the times when Luke would cry for hours and I couldn't tell what was wrong or calm him down. There was one day when Brendan went out to the store and Luke literally cried from the time he left until he got back 2 hours later and I just sat there crying and holding Luke trying to calm him down. Luckily, I have friends and family to encourage me and assure me that I'm not the only mom to feel this way. Despite the moments where I doubt myself, I have many more moments of joy and happiness as I watch Luke grow every day.
Time is already flying by and Luke is already over 9 pounds! He definitely is taking after his dad with his long body. He has trouble wearing some newborn onesies because of his long torso and ends up wearing a lot of 3 month ones, and his pjs are already getting a little short in the arms! I have a feeling he's going to be taller than me by about 4th grade. I am so happy that this little guy is a part of our lives now!
Thursday, January 16, 2014
40 Weeks in my Neverending Pregnancy
I have really just been trying to stay busy for the past week or so while hoping I would go into labor. I've been going to the gym and walking/bouncing in the pool every other day this week to try to get his head in position and also spending a couple of hours every day bouncing on my exercise ball. I have no idea if that is actually doing anything, but I guess we will find out tomorrow.
Last Friday I spent the evening celebrating my friend Angie's birthday by having a wine night and painting with some of our friends. I obviously couldn't participate in the wine, but had a ton of fun painting and hanging out with girlfriends. Brendan was even impressed with my painting because he knows I'm not very artistic. I also have been doing a few Pinterest projects to make some presents for friends before I don't have time to do anything!
I have a few Bible studies going which has given me lots of things to read. I have one with young women in my Church through the book of John and one that will start later this month through 2 Samuel (I read 1 Samuel last spring!) Also, on January 1, I began my journey of reading through the Bible in a year with an accountability group of other women! Today we completed Genesis! I'm hoping not to fall too far behind once Luke comes!
This weekend is MLK weekend which means Brendan has a 4 day weekend and I will have company around the house which makes me excited that I will have other people to talk to! Hopefully the next post I write will be complete with sweet photos of a baby!
Total weight gain/loss: over 35... leaving it at that
Maternity clothes? My maternity dresses are now used as shirts.
Stretch marks? Still none so far, but I finally decided to start using lotion... for good measure.
Sleep: terrible
Best moment this week: Painting night with the girls!
Miss Anything? moving around easily
Movement:all the time.
Food cravings: cookies
Anything making you queasy or sick: nope
Have you started to show yet: this question is absurd at this point
Labor Signs: I wish there were more labor signs...
Belly Button in or out? OUT
Wedding rings on or off? Off
Happy or Moody? Happy, but getting impatient
Looking forward to: my doctors appointment and ultrasound!
Wednesday, January 8, 2014
39 Weeks... I'm still pregnant
Well, things have certainly slowed down the past week as the holidays are over and we settle in to wait for Luke's arrival. This week so far, it's been fairly quiet. I've focused on trying to get some work done for my job at the IT company to make sure I'm all caught up to be able to take a break for a few weeks. I also went to the grocery store over the weekend and stocked up on ingredients for crock pot meals because I have a feeling that those will be my best friends until I get a handle on this whole "mom" thing, met with a newborn photographer, and finished typing up my birth plan.
Right now, I'm just trying to enjoy the calm before the storm and spend as much time with Brendan and our friends as I can. I still feel pretty good for the most part although putting on shoes, getting up, and getting around in general are getting increasingly difficult. I think the worst thing is just the waiting. Whenever I have a contraction, I think that maybe it's the start of labor although I know that first time moms usually go to or past their due date. If I go before my due date it will probably be Friday since Brendan has staff duty or Saturday because apparently he's working all day that day also.
Total weight gain/loss: over 35... leaving it at that
Maternity clothes? still wearing all black all the time.
Stretch marks? Still none so far!
Sleep: not great
Best moment this week: watching tv on the couch with Brendan
Miss Anything? looking cute and not having people give you worried looks when they see my pregnant belly approaching
Movement:all the time.
Food cravings: anything that's unhealthy
Anything making you queasy or sick: nope
Have you started to show yet: this question is absurd at this point
Labor Signs: contractions are getting more frequent
Belly Button in or out? OUT
Wedding rings on or off? Off
Happy or Moody? Happy unless I have to put on shoes... then I am frustrated
Looking forward to: my doctors appointment and hopefully going into labor at some point
Tuesday, January 7, 2014
Successfully Painting Laminate Furniture
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When I started planning Luke's nursery, I knew from the beginning that I really wanted to use the Ikea Expedit shelf that we have for the changing table. The problem was that after quite a few moves, the white shelf had some scuffs and scratches on it, so I began trying to figure out how to paint it. During my googling and pinteresting, I came across this tutorial by LiveLoveDIY and basically used the same technique! I decided I wanted to paint the inside of the shelves a different color than the outside, and suggest that if you do the same you use the lighter color on the inside like I did to avoid the piece looking too dark!
What I used:
Zinnser 123 PrimerBehr Sample Paints in Acorn Spice (brownish orange) and Grass Cloth (green)- I used 3 containers of the Acorn Spice and four of the Grass Cloth
Miniwax Clear Polycrylic Protective Finish
Paint Rollers
Painter's tape
The Process
1)I started by wiping down the shelves with a wet cloth so that they were free of dust and debris, and then put two coats of the Zinnser primer on the entire surface. I had started off using paint brushes but quickly realized that it was much quicker and easier to control how evenly I spread the primer by using a paint roller.
2) After waiting for the primer to dry, I painted the inside of the shelves with the Grass Cloth, While I was waiting for the first coat to dry, I went ahead and painted the outside with the first layer of Acorn Spice.
3) After finishing painting 3-4 coats of Grass Cloth on the inside and letting it dry overnight, I placed painters tape around the edges of each cubby to ensure that I would stay within the lines when I painted the edges of the shelves in the Acorn Spice. Then, I finished my coats of the Acorn Spice!
4) I let the paint dry overnight again (mostly because I was working on this between going to work and doing other things) and then I painted 2 coats of the Miniwax Polycrylic finish over the top to seal it!
Once I let the shelf dry and air out for a while, I bribed Brendan and one of his friends to put it up in Luke's Nursery and was able the check another thing off of my To-Do list! I even used the extra Grass Cloth paint to paint these pine frames that I found at Michael's and hung above the shelf in Luke's room. (To see the rest of his nursery, go here!)
All in all, this was a very easy DIY project. I loved that there was no sanding involved and that it was relatively inexpensive- probably less than $40 total for all the supplies! I would totally do this again if I have any other furniture later that needs a little facelift!
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